Ouch! It hurts.
I scowl at the scale as I walk past it. All around me are tales of success stories of people who are able to 1) set a goal and 2) to actually accomplish said goal.
Today, I drank six, yeah, count 'em, SIX cans of Coke-a-Cola! I ate potato chips with French Onion dip. I did have pretzels at work today with all those COKES.
Then there is the Financial Peace wagon. Yeah, fell off that one, too, but that's an entirely different blog.
I can already hear the voices of my friends, "don't beat yourself up. You try to do too much. You have to breathe. You are doing fine. We all make mistakes. REGINA, breathe, what do you need to do?"
Me: "I don't know!"
them: "Regina, what do you need to do."
Me: whiny noises.
them: "Regina?"
Me: "Connect with God and step up to the plate yet again." Whoosh, the words come out, but I don't mean them yet. I have this habit of saying and thinking I'll do the right thing knowing full well I'm already more than halfway to the wrong thing.
I have awesome friends and I love them dearly, and I do value their advice. I wish they didn't have to keep giving it to me over and over again.
I'm either all the way on the ball or so far off it ain't even funny. Do you know that when I went to school in Texas, we used to get spanked in front of the classroom for saying ain't. I once got spanked for laughing when my friend Dallas was getting the spanking. Then we had to write our names on the paddle.
Anyway, I digress. How do you all do it? Keep it together, I mean? Our church has this saying that goes something like this. "It's not about me. It's all about God and how he wants me to live. I will pray, read my Bible, witness and give because it's not about me. It's all about Him."
I am whiny, selfish and greedy, and these are only the things I am comfortable admiting.
AND, I am extremly compulsive when I am stressed out, and I am ALWAYS stressed out. I'm so glad my friends love me. I'm so very lucky that my friends love me.
HEY FRIENDS: IF YOU LOVE ME, POST ON MY BLOG!
3 comments:
Regina,
I "ain't" no fun being a grown up! If I were there I'd just have to join you with the potato chips and dip. Love you!! Dyan
Dear sweet little sister,
I worry about you alot these days. You seem to have such HUGE expectations for yourself, and you don't allow for any slack when it comes to the goals you've set for yourself. Ok, you fell hard off the wagon. So what? Get up, wipe the coca-cola from your mouth, get into the Word again-even if only for 5 minutes, and start again. As my husband once said to me, you are a force of nature-unleash that force upon yourself, and see what happens. My addition to his words is this: talk to God.
I love you kiddo,
Anna
Oh my good woman. First of all. If you want to drink Coke, drink Coke. But if you get fat on it, NO WHINING!! It's a pretty simple choice, and you have to be happy with which ever one you choose. After all, it seems to me, the only one judging you on this decision is you, so lighten up, eh?
Me? I embraced the diet of it all. And these days, you can get diet anything (I'm still waiting for diet bourbon and diet rum, but I'm not gonna hold my breath).
Dieting is more about a lifestyle change than anything else. It's taken me two years to get as far as I did, and it's still not easy, and I have to watch it EVERY SINGLE DAY (for the most part, anyway)...I've pretty much made it a part of who I am (as though I'm not annoying enough as it is).
Okay, enough lecture, I'm sure you're doing enough of that to yourself, already. And my loving wife is right about the fact that you do too much (And she should know, she's the same damn way).
I'm totally not qualifed to talk about the whole "talk to God" thing , so I'm no help there. But you do have family and friends that love you and won't judge you. Lean on them. That's what we're here for.
Otherwise, if you need a good smack, come tell me the next time you want to have a drink of soda (or eat a bag of chips, or down a pint of ice cream). I'm great at aversion therapy, lol...
It gets better...
rmw
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