Sleeping Rockstar

Breathing

Silence creeps over her house as she has sent its occupants to bed. A mile a work looms before her, but focus will not come.

The day's frustrations along with an unyielding schedule and various life crises seem to circle her mind like a vulture looking for its victim, finding only her mind.

Slipping away, she thinks of her boys and her husband. Tries to count her many blessings.

Taking a deep breath, she reaches for her Bible study. Work will wait. God knows what she needs.

Internet

It's a vast and often unforgiving expanse. It has literally changed the culture we live in. It has brought the world closer, given access to millions and put the market at anyone's fingertips.

For all its pearls, there lurks within it a powerful potential for downfall. From online predators to rampant victims of the pornography market, even simple online friendships can lead down paths undesired.

Like anything else, the online world should be approached with caution and respect, lest you fall into its snare.

"Three Cups of Tea"

I've assigned my feature writing class to read this book, and I am rereading it along with the class to assemble assignments along the way. Even going back over the intro to chapter five, I am immediately pulled into and amazed by this book all over again.

You see, I've always believed in education, fiercely in fact. But, if anything, education merely points out one's ignorance in the larger world. There is no "done." There is no graduation from learning.

Just when you think you have put it all aside or arrived at your final world view destination, in comes something that the mind simply cannot erase.

Read this book. Expect to be changed.

F#$%! Insert Expletive Here

Can I just tell you that I HATE, HATE, HATE the freakin' computers at work? HATE them.

I try to encourage my sons not to use the word "HATE," but I HATE going to work every day with the reasonable expectation of accomplishing something only to be denied by the lunatics who think it's a good idea to put Macs on the network that clearly does not plaly well with actual programs we need and use. OK, so Adobe is also a big old pain in the ass.

Bright, shiny computers should not take five minutes to load a Web page. Some of my students cannot log into machines. They are working on the problem. Big flipping deal. Do they realize that I get roughly 30 class sessions to teach basic design theory and orient the students to software some of them cannot even access? Do they stand at the front of the classroom looking like a total dumbass when something does not work. Nope. Insert me for that role. I am angry.

And, NEVER use questions in writing unless you are super pissed!!!! Yes, multiple !!! are annoying and taboo also. I no longer care.

I could totally become a kick boxer or something because I'd like to kick the crap out of something.

One of my dear, dear friends from college used to delight me (and scare me a bit as well) by her famous fury when driving. She put the "rage in road rage" - -to keep up with my trite and ridiculous attempt to break as many rules as possible. No clichés if you can't keep up. (awww, that wasn't nice either. hmm, still don't care!) I fear I am going to turn in crazy girl every time I log into my wuad account.

On a totally unrelated note. I have a friend who has a good reason to be angry, but is showing more grace than anger. Normally, I support this tactic, but not today.

However, I was thinking of her when I saw this quote in the Barnes and Noble Bookstore (ahh, happy, happy place. Love the bookstore).

"Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try again tomorrow.'" Or so says Mary Anne Radmacher, who incidentally is a writer/artist who does not believe in capitalization.

By the way, a few Web types display this quote without giving any credit. Jerks! Yeah, we've swithced back to angry. Anyway, I should go back to my room and do my Bible study and give this nasty anger straight up to God. I might have to preface that step with a prayer that goes something like this. "Father, God. I am mad. I am mad. I am mad. Please place in me a desire to let go of this anger in your prescriptive manner. Amen."

Blah, blah, blah

There is much noise in the world today. Long lists of things to do and little time to play.


Choices steal moments away as she wonders whether to blog or actually write in her journal. Perhaps her Bible study requires her attention. Lists of things are not much fun.

Her boys tucked away in bed, her husband out on the softball field. Heavy eyelids, but laundry calls. If her house were clean, maybe this would not be such a sad song.

Garage sales, schedules and other things

I am having a garage sale. Thursday and Friday. I don't want to do it Saturday, but I just might.

So far, I am negative $4. I paid $29 for my classified and then sold my two car seats for $25. Yeah.

It's hard not to look around and see "STUFF" that you would like to banish from your life. It's hard to imagine the variety of people one needs to attract to a garage sale in order to sell all your stuff.

And, my schedule sucks. Or rather, I suck at my schedule. Or I can't manage to schedule myself. Whatever it is, it SUCKS.

Other: I HATE TOADS. Am desperately afraid of them actually. And, twice this month I have seen one in my yard. In TOWN. Completely unacceptable. I already hate being outside, now who will protect me from the scary toad? Gene already grows weary of the post.

Why tornados and the media are not a good mix

Last week, the "media" (yes, I do train aspiring young journalists as part of my job in higher education, but let's not stray from the point here). OK, so "the media" goes on and on all day long about a storm to end all storms. Everything is in place for one heck of a tornado. Whatever a storm needs to be a BIG concern, well as far as the media was concerned it was all there.

And, what happened, exactly? NOTHING! I'm all for advanced warning, but not the all-day, play-by-play weather. As if sports are not already out of control in our society, we are now turning our weather casting into a sporting-like event. Yuck. We get the before the event, the event and then the wrap-up of why the before the event stuff was WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!

I have to think God gets a good laugh out of the the people on the media's weather team, especially ones who work for TV.

So then a few days go by and a serious storm pops into Kansas again. Not so much hoopla, but I guess the storm got the last word after all.

Freedom!

To do what I want and when I want. Ha. Like such luxuries actually exist.

I want to enjoy a 3-day pleasure trip where I have nothing to do hanging over my head. Hanging over and sucking the very life from my body.

Clearly, it's time for a Coke : )

Jury Duty

So, I've finally been summoned for jury duty in my 34th year of life. So far, this has meant having my schedule held hostage. Trials for Monday and Tuesday have all settled out of court, leaving me to check the schedule come 5 p.m. today.

I would rather know, yes I am serving or no, I am done with this. I have things to schedule.

Oh, well. I would love to tell you what my week looks like, but I do not know. I do know that I had better finish up a project I have been putting off.

Cheerio.

My fellas

Bubbles

June 2, 2008

I am sitting here in my office looking out my big windows. It's a dark day in the capital city, storms a coming. The lights have flickered. Some counties have reported baseball-sized hail. A good way to start the week, eh?

Well, it's been awhile, dear friends. Give me some love if you read this : )

Yesterday our pastor shared with us a 14-day challenge. Our goal is to live with these three truths in mind.

1) Each second of each day is a precious gift from God.
2) All of my abilities and talents are from God.
3) Everything I own belongs to God. I am the manager, not the owner.

Well, this manager likes to blog. And it makes her happy. And God has given her the talent to blog, and so she must.

My poor, neglected blog

I miss you, dear blog. Perhaps we can reunite in May?

A Servant's Heart

In the middle of any crisis friends can fall into a variety of categories. First there is the one, typically like myself, who care deeply yet stand around not really knowing what to do and often, not always, end up doing nothing. Then there are friends who completely vanish until your life is back on "track."

Finally comes the friend who rolls up the proverbial sleeves and comes to work. Suddenly, it's like Jesus himself is ministering to your needs in a very tangible way. I love the idea of being Jesus to someone. Now, not to confuse the issue. Jesus is always King, Lord and God. There is no equal, but He does share his glory with those who choose to plug into his life code.

I have been having a horrible few months. Emotionally I am battle weary and my heart has been broken. There have been times when I needed a confrontation, and I have received it. Times I just needed a listening ear and I got that, too. This week though, I really needed something I can't even name.

Tonight I got it and I feel like I glow with blessing. My troubles are far from over and my life is just a bit messy right now. But, I have a wonderful friend with a servant's heart. And, oh, what a difference that makes.

Experiment

This past Sunday my husband and I decided to "fast" from the television for one whole week.

The ban was family-wide, and we had explained to Jacob that sometimes God asks us to do things and we have to be obedient to him. I told him we wanted to spend more time as a family, thinking of our blessings and what God has planned for us. He was agreeable and has not asked to watch TV all week.

We began this journey Monday, not knowing Wednesday would bring a snow day and a day home in the middle of the week. Instead of watching movies, we constructed blanket forts in the living room.

On Friday night we had some friends come over for dinner. Jacob was eager to greet our guests, so he yelled "Hi!" from the front porch. And then, "We can't watch TV because we are thinking about God."

I love my son so much, and I realized that if you ever really want to keep a promise you've made, tell a preschooler because there is no going back.

1,000 Words

My husband, my hero

It is 12:15 a.m. and my husband is at work. No, tonight it's not sports-related. My husband is at work because I managed to jam the copier pretty badly at work or I was rather the unfortunate soul who happened to be making copies during the copier's meltdown.

And, because I have class at 8 a.m. and am generally freaking out about the whole thing, Gene took my copies to his office to copy.

I love this man for so many reasons. We've been married almost 11 years (Gene says it rounds up to 11 as we're past the 10.5 mark.

Thank you God for such an awesome spouse.

On Simplicity

For years, I have been promising myself a leaner, meaner schedule, all the while coming up with several new and better things to do.

I teach three classes this semester at work and advise two award-winning publications. My days are filled with meetings, mostly with students. We are revising our curriculum and trying to hire a new faculty member, both of which mean more meetings. I am the second vice president for the Kansas Associated Collegiate Press, which means I have to plan the conference in April. Early April. I will be in New York City for one week this March working the registration area for the national College Media Advisers group.

I am the 2008 VBS coordinator at church. Let the countdown begin. I also teach a 13-week block of Sunday school and semi-facilitate a weekly women's Bible study.

I am a member of the Shawnee County Reserve Medical Reserve Corps because I have this idea I should contribute beyond my church and work duties.

I freelance for the Topeka Capital Journal, which you can visit and search for my name if you want to see what I have written for them.

I am a wife to a man with a crazy job and we have two boys who are 4 and 2, close to being 5 and 3. Our youngest sees a wonderful speech therapist twice a month at 8 a.m. I took him to the doctor six times in a month and a half before the holidays. (Please note this list is not in order of importance, obviously)

I am also a child of God. He loves me and wants me to spend my life loving him and allowing him to love me back. He wants me to be FREE, even though this control freak (me!) is not allowed to be in control. Nope. That's God's job, too. Love him. Spend time with him and his Word daily. Love his people as myself. All people.

My friends also insist that I must give up control of certain things around my home, too. If I give a job to my husband, I thereby relinquish all rights and control of said job. As another one of my tasks is to maintain our home, I must honestly say giving up all control of any household tasks just isn't on my to-do list today. Don't I have enough to do already? Geez! : 0 )

The Naughty List

I am pretty sure my pastor does not read my blog, and that is fine by me, especially today.

I am a multi-tasker, so today as I semi-listened to his sermon intro, I began to think about my faith in Jesus and my life in Christ. Our church is on the move and believe movement happens when fellow believers start by living revolutionary lives for Christ. As he marched through his intro, I was thinking about my current Bible school lesson and my women's Bible study. On a tear of some kind, I began rewriting some of my notes.

As he approached the meat of today's sermon, I did check in and gather the highlights. In case he does read my blog, today's sermon was from Joshua 24 and pastor calls this chapter a call to rededication. Joshua is addressing Israel and imploring the people to embrace God fully — heart, mind and soul (my words, not his). He goes on to suggest that he would rather they choose God completely or at least be honest about who they will choose to serve. In other words, if they won't agree to his terms, just say so and move on. Note that this is not what he desires for them at all.

As soon as we got there, I was really excited because it matches up so closely with the various verses I am trying to memorize for my other study. So, I began writing out each of the verses in my new notebook I have placed in my Bible bag.

I finished writing them all out as I sat in the bathroom while my youngest was in the tub. He's only 2, but as I read each of these verses aloud to him after I had scribbled them down, he locked his sweet baby blue eyes on my face and gave me his complete attention each and every time. Then he would give me a big grin and continue splashing around in the tub.

Just wait until he can understand what these words mean.