Ramblings of sorts

Coming off of another busy weekend, and yes, I should be grading.

Took the boys to the zoo Friday with two other moms. Five kids to three moms isn't a bad ratio, and we all had an enjoyable trip. No luck in getting five kids, ages 4, 4, 3, 2 and 1, into ONE picture though. I will have to post a couple of the ones I did manage to get.

Was on a mission Saturday to buy Gene a new bike and a trail-a-bike thing for Jacob. It's a very cool addition to a regular ten speed that allows a younger rider to ride with a parent. It's like attaching a kids bike, minus the front wheel, to the back of the adult bike. Jacob loves it! I know Jared is going to have a cow b/c he already wants to ride on it, too.

Sunday we made it to church early. My husband does not always enjoy eating out with our kids. I think his prediction that they might be terrorists at the restaurant comes true, and a better attitude would prove more effective. At any rate, we did the Chili's to go for Father's Day. Then my parents came for a BBQ for dinner. We spent some time picking up sticks and cleaning up the yard.

I have become a recent fan of the library's online catalog. You can look for books and have them mailed right to your house. I have read in my magazine about a few books I wanted to read. Ta-Da. The library has them. Now I just wait for them to arrive. How cool is that?!

Well, I started this little post well before lunch. Now I've been and gone. Folded and put away a load of laundry and started another one while at home. Picked up toys for the 20th time in two days. Yep. It's a regular old work week.

My family

Here is the photo taken at the reception to honor my grandparents, who celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary, May 28. They were married in Hiawatha, Kan.

Swimming, Take 2

OK, last night was the second night of the scary swimming.

Jared did much better. The shoes were a definte help. He did not care about the ball, but the ring floatie device proved to be a comfortable distraction.

He actually walked around the pool, splashed and generally had fun. He did go completely under twice, and he did not cry a bit either time. I think the third time will be a charm. I am still getting looks from those who clearly think I am pushing too hard or torturing my child. Trust me. If he was having a major problem, the whole city of Topeka would hear him.

Jacob desperately wants to learn how to swim, but I have yet to sign him up for lessons. I think they will go much better this year.


Hooray!

Swimming

My baby boy hates the pool, which is not good considering we have to go at least 19 more times to make our pool pass cost efficient.

It took about an hour and a half for him to agree to cling to me with his upper chest and lower body submerged.

Jacob, however, loves the pool and wants to do everything. He was quite sad when the lifeguard told him he wasn't big enough for the rope game at the pool. His biggest problem, like genenrations of others, is not running at the pool. He listened fairly well, which was good because Jared was stuck to me like glue.

Jared hates being barefoot, first of all. Then there's the "shower before you enter the pool area" that he's not a big fan of either. We had not even made it out of the locker room before I my child was hysterical.

He loves baths, so I figured walking into the water would please him. Yeah, not so much. I'm sure the other parents there thought I was a horrible mother torturing my poor baby.

Maybe next time will be better. I've got the pool shoes and I'm bringing him a ball. He loves balls, so surely that will work. (Quit laughing. I need support here.)

10 Years

This Thursday will mark the last day of the first 10 years of my marriage. Wow. Ten years. I am not sure what to blog in this space. Perhaps a rundown of the last 10 years. That could be tricky and really test my memory.

June 7, 1997: OK, that's easy. I married my sweetie at 6 p.m. in Mound City, Mo. I could not wait to walk down the aisle. It was awesome to celebrate with family and friends, but it would have been the same if it had just been Gene and I and the preacher.

1998: I graduated with my master's from KU and Gene gets the job he loves as Washburn's SID

1999: I live in Maryville, Mo., and Lawrence, Kan., as I spend 10 months teaching at NWMSU. A lot of miles on our little black Cavalier. I have a husband and a roommate.

2000: We decide to move to Topeka. We closed on our first house on June 7, 2000. I also start my job in alumni at Washburn.

2001: We work. Back in the these days, I would frequently travel on weekends with Gene to football and basketball games. Of course, I often read my book, but we were together. We work, go to church, spend too much money.

2002: We take a fun cruise to mark what we planned to be our last anniversary without children. Our plans prevail. And, we love cruises.

2003: Our first baby boy, Jacob, is born, March 23. What a screamer. Is this baby ever going to go to sleep?

2004: We start to realize the full impact of parenthood. We were too tired the first year, and I don't actually remember a lot of it. We start thinking we had better have another baby before I lose my nerve. My mom said we couldn't not "plan" children, but we did pretty well. We were hoping for April babies both times and got March and May. Pretty darn close.

2005: Our second (and last) baby boy, Jared, is born, May 26. He was 9 pounds and four ounces. Perhaps God thought my prayers for a healthy and SMALL baby went unheard.

2006: A hard year at times. With my sister facing cancer, it really did change our focus. Jared also got ear tubes this year and was sick a lot. Jacob starts preschool and does quite well. The year ended very well though as my parents were baptized Dec. 30.

2007: The boys drive our world in a big way. We visit the zoo, take bike rides, pull the wagon, visit Sam's Club, ride the train at the park, fix meals that end up on the floor, and watch our boys grow. We love to hear Jacob's prayers from the heart and watch as Jared soaks up everything Jacob says and does. (and yes, that includes the spitting and the sassy mouth!) Gene and I still love to goof around and spend time just the two of us.

I'm a very lucky girl. It's been an awesome 10 years.

Advanced News

This post is the start of an ongoing conversation that will last approximately five weeks. I'm teaching Advanced News Writing this summer, and I have decided to have students post each week to this blog. In reality, it's much easier to grade things that are all in one place, but it's also great to be able to respond to the thoughts of others.

Here are the rules:

1) It's OK to POLITELY disagree with others who post.

2) Be sure to click on this entry and post everything here.

Week one: By Wednesday, please answer the following questions. Be sure to read what those before you have typed b/c it should have some effect on what you say. I don't want 15 posts that all say the same thing.

1) What is it that journalists do that make their jobs so important?

2) In your opinion, what has been the biggest or most important news story in the last two weeks?

In Christ Alone

If you can find a copy of this song, go for it! There are about 25 recordings by different artists. I have not found the perfect one I'm seeking yet, but they are all good. At any rate, just the lyrics are amazing. I googled In Christ Alone and got this below:

Newsboys - In Christ Alone Lyrics

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
'Till on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost it's grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Brought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
'Till He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand

How bad is it …

when you barely have time to do half of your list, let along blog.

Yes, I should be planning for my Advanced News Writing class that begins Tuesday. I am going insane!

I have not even been able to blog about my amazing, and I do mean amazing time at the Beth Moore conference. I've also been to an amazing writer's conference.

Beth first. She is an amazing woman. She's on fire for the Lord and knows how to study His word.

Funny thing about God putting you in places you are meant to be. I'm sure there was no reason At ALL why I was at a conference where one of the main focus was on ANXIETY.

OK, this is summary of Beth's profound thoughts, not mine. Stay with me.

She says prayer is to worry as everything is to nothing. She also shows us how God will not provide us one single ounce of energy to waste on anxiety or worry. Prayer, on the other hand, taps into the Spirit's power. And that would be the spirit of the creator of the universe for those a bit behind.

Prayer is the answer to peace while anxiety is the quick way to insanity (OK, the last part is mine.)

Now, here is where it really gets tricky. Beth thinks the root of all anxiety is our refusal to relinquish one thing. Any guesses?

Oh, yeah, it's control. Hmm. What does this type-A control freak have to say about that? Hmm.

So we sat down on the floor, literally a few feet from Beth a few times, and there were these spotlights going around the room. At points, these lights would shine directly on me and not on the people sitting on either side of me. As if I would miss the whole contol thing, God decided to give me a visual clue.

Here it is God: TAKE IT ALL!

love, regina

Never enough hours in the day

If I close my eyes, my to-do list dances in my head. If I open my eyes, it's all around me, staring at me, beckoning to me.

From yard to house to fitness to the mess in the kitchen and the clothes in the dryer, all of which are situated around piles of grading to be accomplished, I simply do not know where to begin.

I have three to-do lists. I cannot bear to look at them. I seriously think I am a lunatic. A serious lunatic, not to be confused by a moderate lunatic.

My blog is too self-centered. Oh, well.

I should be sleeping

So I have discovered gmail and the beauty of the google calendar. I should be sleeping. It was a very very very long day and promises to be a very long week.

I am going to see Beth Moore in Omaha Friday, so the week will have a good end.

The only bad thing about a calendar you can add stuff into and then see months in advance is how quickly you can fill the darn thing up. aaauuughhh.

OK, I am going to bed now.

In conclusion

I hate how when I post two in one day, my second post is below my first post. Perhaps I should consider a blog entry much like I tell my students to write cutlines. Assume the reader will not read the story. Try to get them there, but give enough info.

I finished my Beth Moore study. We went to dinner last night to discuss what we learned, but we really just visited. (nothing wrong with that). We did the To Live as Christ, which is a study of the life of Paul. Amazing.

Here are some of the things I took away from this study.

1) Paul, who started as Saul, let a very disciplined life, which I believe was a key to his amazing faithfulness.

2) Saul got to meet up with Christ in a very dramatic way. And, when Christ meets you in this fashion, there is really no turning back.

3) God rules were created to protect us and help us, but he loves us the same no matter how well we follow these rules.

4) The power of the Holy Spirit does not come automatically. When we accept Christ, we are joined by the Spirit, but it's only through the disciplines of prayer, reading God's Word and choosing to obey that we are able to harness the spirit's power to be patient, kind, faithful, loving, gentle, joyful, peaceful, good, and self-controlled.

5) Following our convictions can be tough. God did not promise a life of pampering. Hardships are actually necessary to build genuine faith.

6) Paul moved out from under to law to fall under grace. It's a choice we all have. The law condemns us all. You can accept grace or live life as Christ did -- without sin. Hmm, think I'll take GRACE.

7) The key to freedom is our obedience "DO the right thing, until we FEEL the right thing."

8) We need to fear the sin that comes disguised as a friend.

9) Salvation is a gift. We must PURSUE godliness and holiness.

10) We can learn to be content with what we have. It's not an automatic thing.

11) Beth says "our testimony is today!" We need to start living an obedient life, so our light can shine forth into the darkness. AMEN.

I should be grading …

Or washing the dishes or sleeping.

Last week of classes. Three more classes for me, in fact. Yes, three more.

It's been two, possibly three, weeks since I've finished my Beth Moore Bible study. I am back in the adult Sunday school as my 12-week stint with the 4-5 year olds in temporarily over. We are studying the life of King David. Our teacher has encouraged us to work on memorizing scripture.

I am working on memorizing Psalm 34. I must say it's not going as well as I would like it, too. The Psalm was written by King David, known as a man after God's own heart.

Here it is, in case you want to memorize it with me. (From the NIV version.)

I will extol the Lord at all times;
his praise will always be on my lips.
My soul will boast in the Lord;
let the afflicted hear and rejoice
Glorify the Lord with me;
let us exalt his name together.
I sought the Lord, and He answered me;
He delivered me from all my fears.
Those who look to Him are radiant;
Their faces are never covered with shame.
The poor man called, and the Lord heard him;
he saved him out of all his troubles.
The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him,
and He delivers them.
Taste and see that the Lord is good;
Blessed is the man who take refuge in Him.
Fear the Lord, you His saints, for those who fear Him lack nothing.
The lions may grow weary and hungry, but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.
Come, my children, listen to me, I will teach you the fear of the Lord.
Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days,
Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies.
Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.
The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their cry;
The face of the Lord is against those who do evilto cut off the memory of them from the earth.
The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in the spirit.
A righteous man may have many troubles,
But the Lord delivers him from them all;
he protects all his bons, not one of them will be broken.
Evil will slay the wicked,
the foes of the righteous will be condemned,
The Lord redeems his servants;
No one will be condemned who takes refuge in him.

100 books and counting

So the madness continues as I type into excel our expansive collection of children's books. Just last week, Jacob and I carefully scoured the Scholastic flyer for the books we thought we needed. He picked dinosaurs and pirates. I picked Charolotte's Web and Stuart Little.

Then, he carried around a crumpled up flyer from something we received in the mail. A collection of Veggie Tales Books. I am an addict when it comes to mail-order books, so with no obligation purchase (ha ha), our Veggie Tales books will start arriving in four to six weeks.

At the Women of Faith conference, I spent $75 on a gorgeous pink bag that declares "Finally Free" to the world. I would not have paid so much for a bag, but this one came with five books that I plan to read and then share liberally!

The bottom line is that I love books, and I want my fellas to love 'em, too!

I remember when I was a little girl and I decided to play library, so I cut and glued pockets from notebook paper and stuck them to every book I owned. What a wacky kid!

I also remember the time I had planned to be a scribe and had set out copying down the entire Bible. It was a lot harder than I thought. I had to be younger than second grade, and I still only had the OLD King James version. I think I made it through the first three chapters of Genesis before I gave up my mission.

An answered prayer

Years before I had even considered being a mother, I attended my first Women of Faith conference. (note, I am in a posting mood, so I doubt these will not be in order)

At the conference, I was surrounded by amazing women who seemed to have a good handle on their faith in God. And, I, too, was well on my journey in faith. I had already spent a fair number of years praying my family would understand that my "interest" in God was not a hobby.

I have always had a close relationship with my mom. She's a great lady, but I was never able to relate to her spiritually. She had always believed in God, and that seemed to be enough for her, but it never was for me. It's the relationship with the son that I am aiming for. And, as I experienced God in such a powerful way some 10 years ago, I remember wishing my mom could share in something like that. I prayed often for my parents and my sisters over the years.

As someone was unable to attend this week's conference, my mom was able to go. As I was singing with the 12,000 women who attended the conference, I was suddenly very aware of how much had changed in 10 years. Here I was with my mom, and we were both worshiping the same, wonderful, awesome supreme God. Her faith awakened and renewed.

God is so good.

I know I have family, friends, students and even mere acquaintances who are not yet in a relationship with Christ. You can trust that if I know you are not in said relationship that I am praying fervently that you will come to know the one and only true God.

Believing there is a God isn't enough. Jesus is the only way to an eternal life in heaven, and He loves you. And I encourage my Christian friends: Never quit praying for the lost. Eternity is a fate for everyone. You can spend it with God or without Him. It's your choice.

I AM FREE

I drove to Des Moines this weekend to attend the Women of Faith conference. The theme was freedom. The last few weeks of my Bible study focused on freedom. And, you will never guess what today's sermon at church was about.

Me: Hmm. Three times, God? Freedom? Me? A control freak like myself can be free? Hmm. That's nice.
God: Ahem.
Me: OK, again with the freedom? Are we still on that?
God: (insert your favorite parent look here)
Me: Oh, you want THIS control freak to be free. Not just one LIKE me?
God: still nudging
Me: I am going to have to surrender what? Everything? Every little thing? My husband? My kids? My friends? My job? My dreams?
God: Yes, and keep going. You're missing one thing.
Me: I can't think of anything else.
God: "Regina?"
Me: MY PLANNER? You can't be serious. How will I live?
God: "Through me. You will live through me."
Me: I want to …
God: "Then step out in faith. Fall forward. Drop your hands. Trust me."
Me: OK, Lord. But you know you are going to have to show me.

And other crazy things I do

So, I started a spreadsheet to keep track of our vast collection of childrens books. As Jacob and I plod through the bookcases in an attempt to read them all before doing too much repeating, I have so far typed up 65 books.

And, I have to tell you that the bookcases are still quite full of books. I love books and cannot seem to deny my children this pleasure. Is there anything better than a good book?

Hmm.

What would God say

I'm on my way to pick up my youngest son when Jacob suddenly announces "I didn't throw rocks at Ms. Beckey's car today."

Of course, I immediately realize that he did. But, playing his game, I say "Oh, who did that?"

A pause and then an enthusiastic, "Nathan!"

"Who else?" I probe.

"Just him. No one else."

"Hmm. I wonder what God saw."

Another pause and then a plead, "Don't ask Him!"

I guess his guilty conscience had gotten the best of him because he did fess up. Even at age 4, Jacob knows that the same God who chases away the monsters he fears at night is with him all day long.

Tuesday night was my weekly Bible study, and the funny thing is that the message was very similar. We're studying the dramatic life of the apostle Paul, who at this point has spent two years in prison because he was not afraid to proclaim the truth of Christ.

Beth Moore, who is an amazing Christian woman who writes these studies for women, went back and studied a U.S. court case that gave a detailed account of how a person must prove they have a religious conviction.

See the U.S. Supreme Court is looking for convictions, not preferences or philosophies. We have to be the same when people are watching us and when they aren't. Over and over again, Paul shared his testimony. He didn't change it or relent from telling it. He was so convicted that he simply did not have any choice.

I hope if I were on trial for my faith, there would be enough evidence to convict me. Our high court says that our conviction must permeate every aspect of our lives, not just our behavior on Sunday mornings.

"For the love of God"

For awhile now, I've maintained a position that certain things are just "in" you. You can do your best to squelch them, but they will still manage to wiggle out every now and again.

I am a Christian. I love God, and I certainly do not mean to disrespect His name, but I fear I do it on a quite casual basis, which I feel is worse yet.

Tonight, after blowing my nose at least 200 times today, I was in a hurry to get the boys eating supper. Jacob had already announced he wanted yogurt and a PB&J sandwich. Fine with me, only he wanted to make it himself. I told him that I was really tired and just wanted to get it done faster.

Brief silence. Then he says to me, "For the love of God! I can make a sandwich." I dropped the knife because I know exactly who taught him to say this. Oh, boy. Further reflection reveals that I say this frequently, along with "Oh, Godd" and "Good Lord!" How do these "godly" interjections make it into my language? Years of use. And, I do mean years.

Funny how hearing the words from a 3-year-old can leave quite the impression.

Old Photos

The previous post alludes to something I am trying to find and failing miserably. It's a photo of my family. The last one taken before I was married. I believe there is only one copy, and I am pretty sure I have it -- somewhere.

I have seen it somewhere in the near future. It's one of my favorite photos of our family, and I know I intended to scan it or have Gene scan it. If only I could find it.

Instead of grading my papers, finishing up the loose ends with bills for the month, I tore through several boxes of photos that are just yearning to be scrapbooked. I love to scrapbook, and I have a lot of cool tools to use when scapbooking. It's the time I lack.

Anyway, I am going through all of these wonderful photos when I wonder if I perhaps stuck the photo inside one of my albums to keep it safe.

I pulled out my wedding album and spent time looking at it. We will have been married 10 years in June. I didn't finish our wedding album until just before our 10th wedding anniversary. Boy that thing took me a lot of work.

I also found pics of my sisters when they were smaller and so very cute. Now, I have photos everywhere and I'm very tired. Hmmm.

At any rate, I hope you all are having better luck finding your stuff than I am.

I should be sleeping

And here are the reasons why:

1) I am tired.

2) I am not doing things I wrote down to do on my list.

3) I am tired

4) I am frustrated because I cannot find something that I have seen recently. Doesn't this make you nuts?

5) I found it rather difficult to drag myself from bed this a.m. and tomorrow only promises to be harder.

6) It's only Monday. Sleep is needed.

I had a plan

But, as usual, my plan and reality did not exactly intersect. I sat down to do my Bible study about 30 minutes ago now, and I have a "small" project to attend to afterward. I reason with myself that I could just "get up early" and do it.

OK, if you have finished laughing, please continue reading.

I'm trying to put my finger on why I love blogging. I think I might miss the art of reporting. Having no one to interview, I question myself and pose the answers to the world of Web.

There are certainly some things I choose not to blog out because I am never quite sure who reads my entries on a regular basis.

This week, my struggle yet again is self-discipline. Beth Moore's study directed us to scriptures a week or so ago that said self-discipline comes as the result of a filling of the Holy Spirit within me. In order to pump up the spirit, things like reading God's word, praying, surrendering to him and letting go are big keys.

I'm not the only one in my Bible study who struggles with the concept of letting go. One of the members had a very nice illustration of it, but I really need the step-by-step manual. Only I think it's a little different for each person.

So, I pose the question to you. What does it truly mean to let go and give it to God? What does true surrender look like? And most importantly, how do you do it day after day after day? Or how do you know when you've done it?

40 minutes!

So, one of our fitness challenges this month was to "zone train" for 40 minutes. I did it tonight. I stayed in my target heart rate for 40 minutes, and I live to tell the story.

God is so faithful. He is the real reason why I am able to stick with this weight loss thing. I don't want to yo-yo forever. I want God's wisdom when it comes to diet and exercise. He has a plan for us, not matter what area of our lives. Isn't that amazing?

Gene and I will have been married for 10 years June 7, 2007. I was thinking that around that time in my life, I was the smallest ever. I was even smaller than my sister, Jenny, who was actually named Jenny at this time. (that's another story)

As we embark on the last few months before this milestone, I want to commit the rest of my weight loss journey to the creator of the universe and ME! It is through his grace and provision that I am able to accomplish this goal. Thank you, Lord.

And, by the way, my youngest sister has joined the quest for fitness. She was shocked to discover tonight that I weigh less than she does. She will catch up in no time though, there's no doubt. And, it's only two pounds anyway :)

Lists

Tonight my dear friend and faithful poster Anna declared to another that I was two weeks behind on my blog. Ha! My last post was Feb. 21. It's only Feb. 28, is it not?

Anyway, I digress. Tonight over a wonderful meal of tacos, my Bible study group got into a spirited discussion of lists and how we use them or fail to use them.

One of the group members feared she would always be mocked from here on out as being a major list-maker. For me to tease her, this would be calling the kettle a bit.

In the last few years, especially with the addition of two boys, I have become increasingly aware of how nuts our culture is. I like lists, but I don't like being a slave to one. There is no such thing as a completed job anymore. The jobs just go on and on and on and on and on.

We all feel the pressure to do more and more each and every day. We need to take a stand!

Speaking of which, I have to run. I should NOT be blogging because I have stack of coursework that absolutely "MUST" be graded tonight.

Toodles.

I'm tired

Today was a long day. We are in the interview process of our search for the perfect chair for the mass media department at Washburn. It's a tough task hiring your own boss. Everything went well today, but the process is a bit draining.

At any rate, I am trying to get myself to bed at a decent rate because that is one of the many "healthy" tasks I am working to implement in my life.

I will tell you now though, I am a night person who hates going to bed. I have been faithfully using all six steps of my face junk (hopefully to lose the stupid two zits that plague me) and even flossing before bed. I hate flossing, but I have sucky gums. At any point, I am not sure why I decided to type this up.

Did I have a point and then forget? I am not sure. It's been a very, very busy week. No time in between things. Appoitments, appointments, etc. I have already worked out twice this week (thankfully) and need to do weights desperately. I hope I get to the gym Friday and Saturday. We will see. The scale this a.m. says I have lost 8 pounds. I am not wanting to step back on in case it was a fluke or something.

Well, I'm off to scrub my face and floss those teeth. Hope you have a terrific day, world.

A challenge from my sister

My sister, Jenny, and I e-mail back and fouth. She has challenged me to a weight-loss competition. And she has a funny streak today. Even though she uses way too many exclamation points, I still love my "poised" sister.

Jenny: You are on. First one to 150 gets to what?

See her e-mail below and my initial one following:

From Jenny:

i've been sick lately, too....we should do this feat together! Maybe we can play a healthy little bet??? Whomever reaches closest, or under 150 pounds by May......would you like to wager? You've got a headstart on me, btw...I'm at 189. But am losing around 2-3 pounds per week! The weather has been a bit deterring, but it's warming up and the snow is finally starting to melt. Sorry I haven't been as windy on e-mail lately...very busy and tired....but I will catch up soon!!!

you have all my sympathy....spending all your life trying to live up to my beauty, talent and poise must be hard, and I sympathize.

hehehheheeh

LOLOLOLOL!!!!

On 2/21/07, Regina Cassell wrote:

Where's my LONG e-mail? What are you doing? I have no water in my office, no money and I am very thirsty! I have lost 8 pounds though, 32 to go! My goal is to weigh 150 by May, and I am at 182 this a.m. Did I tell you my throat also hurts? I need some sympathy.

love always, regina

Exercise

OK, the official word is that I've only lost five pounds, but I don't care. My pants almost fell off in the parking lot last week. yeah, me!

I plan to start my day out tomorrow with yoga and workout Tuesday afternoon.

It's going to be a busy, but great week!

reflection

I went to a funeral this weekend. It was for a man from our church. He was 55 years old, and I was glad to know him. His life though, was littered with poor choices involving drinking, lying and cheating.

After a few of our church members spoke, his daughter summoned up the courage to approach the pulpit herself. It was clear she had something to say, and she started speaking very quietly.

This man, who had been such a blessing to those of us who knew him in the last few years, had not been an ideal father. The pain and rage in this young woman's voice broke my own heart.

She wasn't quite convinced that her father's faith journey was legitimate because he never had the time to truly reconcile with his family. I can't imagine how difficult that would have been to face the people you loved the most in the world honestly, knowing all that you had put them through.

Many who knew him lately believed he was on the right journey to get there, but as his daughter cried out at one point, now she will never know.

She's not sure who to be angry at or what to believe. She wonders why God was able to transform her father when years of her own begging and pleading had fallen on deaf ears.

Oh, I know this woman's pain is long from gone, and I grieve for her. There was a time in my own life when I did not have a good relationship with my own father. I thought he was a mean, hateful jerk who did not care anything about me.

After I gave all of my hurt and frustration to the Lord, the Lord gave my dad and I a new chance. I started praying for my parents as a teen. It was an amazing and joyful moment when there were baptized this past December. And, for many years now I have had the relationship with my father that I had always wanted. I never wanted a perfect father; I already have one of those. But, I did want a relationship with the man who is my dad, just as he is. You have to take all of the good with the bit of bad that is in each and every one of us.

I really don't think it's possible to love people just as they are without a relationship with God. We can try all we like, but family members and even our closest friends are sometimes going to hurt us, disappoint us or even abandon us. We must find the courage to forgive and truly love each other as Christ loves and forgives us. Without Him, I don't see how it's even possible.

If you are believer, pray for Katie. She needs to find Christ.

From the pulpit

Our story for today's sermon can from Exodus. God had freed his people from Egypt, and they were whining because they were hungry. God brought manna and quail for the people to feast on day by day. As he was trying to teach them a very important lesson, they were only to gather enough for each and every day.

Daily dependence on God. I love our pastor. He's young, and it's so obvious that he truly preaches from his heart. It's also obvious that God is with him. The heart of today's message is that faith does not keep. It spoils. You need a fresh batch each and every day. It's not enough to have one hallaluhah moment every six weeks or so. Daily faith builds us up, helps us become more like Christ and deepens our very relationship with our own creator.

Wow. God wants me to walk with him every single day. He doesn't need his own space, and he never tires of spending time with any of us. That's amazing.

I think the key to faith is the Bible. You can talk to God and pray as much as you want, and those are both solid things to do. But, without a regular dose of God's word, you are not going to get a ton out of that experience. God wants to meet with us through his word. Study it for a week and see if I'm right. Just one week. Every single day. Meet with the creator.

Fitness update

I have decided to reward my weight loss with a variety of things. Next fall, I plan to take my skinny self back to my former, expensive hairdresser in Lawrence. I miss him. He does an amazing job with my hair, and I'm worth it.

I have a ways to go, but I have lost and kept off seven pounds to date. I've lost a GRAND total of 15 pounds since last August. Not nearly as quickly as I would like, but now I am exercising, which makes all the difference. I want to lose 40 pounds, which leaves me 33 to go. I will get there. I am also going to reward myself with a bra that I love for every day of the week. Maybe two per day.

And, I don't even hate exercise as much as I used to. Now I find that I am giving myself permission to enjoy myself and work out with passion. I use the time to pray for friends, which also helps me. I bought another yoga mat and the DVD "Yoga for Dummies," a great workout, which kicked my butt the other night.

God is great, and I know I would be failing miserably without his assistance. Start exercising ladies and gents. Even if you walk your butt to the corner twice a week, it's a start.

I hate doing the dishes

I really, really really hate doing the dishes. I have a wonderful husband who actually washes more dishes than I do.

Tonight is Valentine's, and I am blogging. Things I am not currently doing: putting clothes in the dryer and adding a load of towels to washer; the dishes; my new Beth Moore Bible study, which is awesome; finding our bed, which is covered in clothes, toys, etc.; grading or cleaning up toys.

I did manage to make dinner tonight for the fellas. Had to remove all of Jacob's toys from his room because he was warned about making bad choices at preschool and informed of the consequence. I told him that his bad choices were making lots of work for me. He just cried harder. Yesterday, he was naughty enough to warrant a note home to his parents. Well, the little sneak decided to pull the note out of his box while no one was watching and throw it away.

We did play with playdough tonight. Yes, I have evolved as a mother. I now allow my children to play with the dreaded substance. It wasn't in his room, so it did not qualify for banishment to the garage.

That's my lonely rant. My hubby is at NWMSU without me for work. I teach until 5 p.m. Wednesdays or I would have happily tagged along with him. I miss going with him to games sometimes. Mostly I just miss him. I could care less about sports.

I am a rockstar!

And, a very humble one at that.

Well, I am still working out and attempting to monitor my food consuption habits. The word "diet" makes me cringe.

Anyway, here is a summary of the reasons I choose to put myself into the rockstar category.

Week one at the SRWC: Jan. 8-12: Gene and I went every day to spend at least 2o minutes using the equipment and walking.

Week two at the SRWC: This is the week school started. I had my fitness assessment Wednesday, Jan. 17, but it was a slow workout week.

Week three at the SRWC: I worked out Sunday, Jan. 21 and then did yoga at 6:45 a.m. Monday, Jan. 22. I had my appointment with the wellness coordinator to go over my exercise prescription. I will tell you about that momentarily. I did manage to make two and maybe three appearances this week as well.

Week four at the SRWC: Was this really week four? I again worked out Sunday and did yoga Monday a.m. I went to the gym Thursday and Friday and did cardio workouts on the ellipitical at my target rate. Yeah!

I have lost six pounds, give or take. And, again, I am seriously working on limiting my calories. The wellness gal says you should consume your weight plus a zero in calories and a few more on days you work out. She also says it can take a few weeks to start seeing real difference. I am seeing the difference on the scale, with a few pounds, but not really on my clothes yet. Hmm.

OK, now to my exercise prescription. I am to do two cardio workouts a week. One with a target heart rate of 155-160 and another with a rate of 160-170. I am to do 10 weight machines, 12 reps and then another set of 10 with a few more pound added. Then I am supposed to do these plank things (this is not happening. I am a plank-challenged idiot at this point!) We are also supposed to do another kind of plank and then crunches on the evil exercise ball. I have not mustered up the nerve to completely humiliate myself at the gym, so I have been skipping these components. OOPS.

That's the update!

Just ask Jesus

Our Wednesday was a bit hectic, and I had a meeting at 8:15 a.m. I had pushed Gene out the door to go exercise, so I was in charge of the morning chaos at home this morning. I always feel extra thankful for the help I get daily from my husband, but today I was a bit aggravated at him.

I am a creature of habit, perhaps even obsessive habits. One habit I have is hanging up the coats in the coat closet. Gene prefers to hang Jacob's coat on the vacuum sweeper, which is housed in said closet. Generally, Jared's coat is near there, but today it was placed on the top shelf of the closet.

I was a tad frantic already, running late and now aggravated at Gene. I was looking everywhere for the coat and getting more stressed by the second.

Jacob, bless his heart, says, "Mommy, we can ask Jesus. He knows where everything is."

That certainly caught my attention.

"Yes, I thinking asking Jesus is a great idea, Jacob," I said as I glanced up into the closet and saw the coat.

OK, Mom, pace yourself

I talked to my mom today on the phone, and she was a bit miffed that I was "behind" on my blog. I am never behind on my blog because it's not deadline driven. However, I had been wanting to blog myself, so I thought I'd share a few posts tonight.

Mom, there are four or so new posts. Pace yourself now. Don't read them all too fast. It might be a few days before I can return to my faithful follower.

And, thanks, mom. I love knowing you read my blog. You could post every now and again for more inspiration.

A Prayer

I have had a good week, and I feel very blessed this week. However, some of my friends are having a tough week. If they happen to read my blog, they should know that I am praying for them. My heart reminds me throughout the day to lift them up in prayer. As some are fond of saying: "Prayer, it's the most and least a person can do." Another friend of mine always used to sign his e-mails "pray or be prey."

A regular prayer life is not an easy thing. In fact, living a Christian lifestyle is not an easy thing. It's a tough task, like any other lifestyle, that demands discipline, action when you don't "feel" like it and lots of faith.

Our pastor talked about faith this past Sunday, so I suppose it's been on my mind. I want to be known for my faith. Not because I am able to talk about it (I can talk about anything), but because I am living it each and every day.

One thing I've recently learned in a deeper way is how to respond to our failings as we live out our sinful lives. God forgives our sins if we are truly sorry ourselves, so we really need to work on forgiving ourselves and allowing ourselves to grow in spite of past decisions. Yes, we do have consequences for our actions, but with God, there is no such thing as a hopeless situation.

Friends, I love you. Please know that you are in my prayers. If you have no idea what any of this e-mail means, I would love to share my personal savior with you.

Snow Day

Gene, Jacob, Jared and I had a lot of fun this past Sunday afternoon. Jacob was so excited to go outside. He never did take a nap, but Gene, Jared and I did. Jacob kept coming in trying to convince us that he had "sleeped." We finally made it outside though. Here are some fun pics of our day in the yard. Yeah for snow, sometimes :)

A good day

Monday was a good day. I woke up at 6:15 a.m., showered and headed to
campus to take a yoga class. It was wonderful. I got back around 7:45
and changed into my work clothes.

My husband took the boys to
daycare, and I finished getting ready. I had to switch cars with Gene
because I was a field trip sponsor for Jacob's trip toPotwin Pottery. This adventure saw some 25 preschoolers painting cups in a store filled with breakable objects. (yikes!)

Highs
for the day: no soda, no fast food, exercise accomplished, good overall
calorie consumption and proper amount of sleep the night before.

I am sure that I took at least a day off of my 48-year-old body.

By the way, if I have any new readers, I often refer back to old posts.

A good journalist would also give the pertinent background information, but I am feeling lazy today.

A plus for today is that I became CPR certified today. Yeah, me!

That's it for now. I'm going to see if my pics are finished downloading :)

A short summary

So, I am not sure today was a good day. I wrote out a little schedule last night in attempts to be organized this a.m. because I had to be at the wellness center at 8:30 a.m. for my fitness assessment.

Turns out my body thinks we are 48, not 33! I would consider this a problem. However, we do have a great wellness coordinator where I work who did help me with some stragies to help my body and me agree on a proper age for us.

Natually it involves things like losing weight (which means ditching things like fast food and Coke, which might lead to swearing) and exercising. If I exercise, lose some of this body fat and chill out a bit, I can take literal years off my body. Whoo-hoo.

I think I ran around like a crazy person most of the day. I missed two deadlines today and then managed to almost knock myself unconscious on the ice when I was picking up Jacob today. Ouch!

I have two bandaids, and one of them happens to be a cartoon character, but who knows where the "adult" bandages have disappeared to.

And, now I must close because I have to wash the dishes and finish up a few things for work. Tomorrow IS a new day, right?

Don't worry friends, I am OK. I just like to write and vent. I think my attitude right now is OK. And, in good news I had taco salad for dinner. I skipped the tortilla saving myself 140 calories and I measured the sour cream (yeah, me!) And I only had one glass of iced tea tonight. Keep me in your prayers as I continue on my journey. I'm calling it: goodbye fat girl. Nice, eh?

Sister from another mister

I have this wonderful friend, Anna, who I happened to see a couple of days ago. She is the older sister I've never had. We have both sold Pampered Chef (very good stuff, by the way) and attend church together. She took care of my boys and has three boys of her own. Our relationship has just deepened with each layer added.

She is a very direct person, which I totally appreciate and get in a person. There are just so many reasons why I love this woman. Mostly though, it's her uncanny ability to say just the right thing to me always on cue. But there is one small thing that we disagree on — the power of breathing.

She's always telling me to slow down and breathe. I completely see the merit in this advice, but I find it must more enjoyable to harass her constantly over the steady advice quip. "Just breathe, sweetie."

I wonder how many women she has cared for with these three little words. I know I'm not the only gal who calls to bend her ear. She's truly an amazing blessing to all of us girls who know her.

She is doing a great job on her own fitness journey, and I am so proud of her for that.

She's also become a writer as of late, and I can't wait to read what she has so far on her novel. That might be another blog or perhaps a post on hers.

If you want to meet Anna, scroll down and click on the link to her blog. She's quite a gal.

Proud sister

It takes a lot of guts to "do what it takes" to follow your dreams. My youngest sister recently moved back to town (yeah! Gene and I often call on her to sit with the boys after they have gone to bed, so we can run here or there)

At any rate, she knew she needed a job immediately, so she went out and got one. She's worked seven days in a row at a local fast food restaurant. Nope. It's not a glam job. She stands on her feet for hours and comes home smelling like old food, but she's there every day.

I hate hearing people say that "I would never work fast food" as if the job and the people who do work there are below them. No one is below any job, frankly, and I am very proud of her to stick with this while she looks for something better.

And for those who say you can't make it on a fast-food income, it's probably easier than making it on zero per month. In fact, we sat down with a financial spreadsheet, and it's easier than you might think to make it on the income if you live within your means.

Anyway, way to go, little sis. Be patient. Good things do come to those who work hard while they wait.

My fitness journey

began today at the Student Health and Recreation Center. Gene and I went there and worked out.

yeah! I also avoided eating out today, electing instead to have a sandwich and a small bag of chips (a lot less calories and fat grams than McDonald's!)

I only drank one soda today, even though I desperately wanted another.

Yeah. I may not blog about my progress every day, but then again, I just might.

Peace?

On the first day without kids her kids, I heard the mommy say, "No poopie pants."

On the second day without her kids, I heard the mommy say, "No hunting for a lost sippy cup."

On the third day without her kids, I heard the mommy say, "I'm all alone!"

On the fourth day without her kids, I heard the mommy say, "Wow! Combing my hair really helps!"

On the fifth day without her kids, I heard the mommy say, "Well, I do love 'em, so I better go get them!"

Hmmm

So my mom (yes, she's a common theme) bought me this journal (along with my dad, who also deserves mention) that is called Streams in the Desert.

I'm on day four, (kudos to me as it's Jan. 4). Anyway, this particular day has some mind-blowing stuff for this Christian girl.

It's about faith, and I will get to that momentarily. Not all of my friends are believers, and I totally get why. It's hard to put your complete trust and faith into the "unknown." Only that's the most ironic part. God is "unknown" to unbelievers because they choose not to know him. Having a personal relationship with God, with Jesus, is key. I know this and believe it, yet I sometimes have a hard time living it. How do you have an intimate relationship with a facelss being who also happens to be the creator of the universe? Am and I just some puppet to amuse him? I have had these questions a time or two, and my first response to the "how do you get closer to God?" question has always been prayer.

As Christians we learn that prayer is a powerful way to connect us to God, but my reading today suggests that prayer, used in the wrong way, can actually harm our relationship to God. Say, what!?

Yes, it says we need to guard ourselves and be careful not to "pray yourself out of faith." The belief we hold that God will answer our prayer is essential. Without the belief, our prayer is indeed self-focused. And if our eyes are on ourselves, they are not on the Lord.

So those little prayers we offer up to God because they are expected or the answers we thank him for that we never believed he would provide should be red flags for our relationship with him.

Another quote by George Mueller was cited in today's reading, and it especically struck a cord with me.

"The beginning of anxiety is the end of faith, and the beginning of true faith is the end of anxiety."

Praise God for delivering words that I need to hear right to me. And thanks mom and dad for the neat prayer journal.

Happy New Year!

I have been home with my fellas this week, actually I have been with them pretty constantly since Dec. 22, but who is counting.

My mom called me today to ask me if I knew where the lid to her new crockpot was as I was the one who put the crock away. I didn't know where the lid was because I don't think it was on it when I put it away. I hope she found it. We did not talk long because Jacob and Jared were engaged in World War Ten Thousand.

I wish being healthy worked more like child's play. All I would need are pictures or videos of people eating healthy and exercising and I would do whatever it took to have the very same thing, even though it would seem that I am perfectly content to eat crap and shun exercise.

My boys have WAY TOO MANY TOYS. We have enough toys for most of Topeka to have one, but no toy is greater than the one the other brother beholds. I think if one of my sons was playing with dog poo, the other would not be happy until he had the poo. Not some of the poo, or poo of his own, but ALL OF THE POO from his brother.

Why is this? Then Jacob crawled under the desk to hang out while I was trying to do one little thing on the computer. Jared thought it would be fun to crawl under there, too. Apparently, Jacob was trying to push Jared out, but ended up getting his finger bit instead.

By the way, I do have a membership to the gym. I have not gone yet, but I was missing some vital things. I did not have any tennis shoes, and I moved up another size. Geez, even my feet rebel against me. And, as I might see a student of mine, I wanted to wear presentable workout clothes. I have plenty of T-shirts, courtesy of WU athletics, but no non-embarassing bottoms. I am now the proud owner of work out pants. I gave up shorts a few years back, and I didn't see any workout capris.

Now I am ready. For what, I have no idea.

THANKS!

My fellas (the big one, too)and I received so many wonderful things this Christmas.

With Jared being sick, we have not been able to travel the I-70 path as planned, but we have been blessed with two days at home. Sleeping in, watching the boys completely destroy every clean nook and cranny in the house and playing a few games of go fish. Jacob does not quite get the concept as he proudly announces each and every card he happens to draw from the pile. Hey, it's a break from Candyland at any rate.

As I was picking up toys (almost as frequently as I find myself doing laundry), I wondered how two little boys need so much stuff. And, we have one more present stop.

My husband was a very naughty boy this year and bought me something he should not have. Watch for more photos this year as I perfect my technique with my new digital toy.

My mom, clever as always, manages to shop better for me than I do. (sigh) And, I really loved the photo plaque my sister Bobbie made me and my new scarf from my sister Rikki.

Jacob "loves" everything and has spent two days really checking out his gifts. We got him a kid-proof digital camera, and Gene has had to download the pics twice (it holds around 70) This morning he says to me, "I am going to take a picture of this mess!"

Thanks, Jake. Mom and Dad found him a Diego doll, which he has talked too all day long.

"Santa" brought the boys a little people pirate ship and more mega blocks. Aunt Jenny, Jason and Avery also added to mega block stockpile. Jacob loves to build stuff with Gene and I though. He prefers not to play with little destructo (aka Jared).

Well, I fear I am rambling, so I will close for now.

Photo shoot

The boys "cooperated" while we attempted to get one, "just one" pic of the boys.

Family of Four

Jared, Regina, Gene and Jacob in front of our tree

My sisters

Jenny, Bobbie Jo, Rikki and Regina
Christmas Eve 2006

The whole family

We had a wonderful time with family and friends at Angela and Jared's house Christmas Eve.

christmas

Jared on Christmas a.m.

Christmas pics

Jacob on Christmas a.m.

Christmas

Has come and gone. Yet I am still working on those 80 Christmas cards. I have decided to set a new and crazy goal for myself because I'm all about that. I love writing actual letters to people. With a pen and everything. I have decided after holding my old battered up address book that I will transfer my many addresses to a new book. How exciting! I have decided to transfer these addresses one at a time. Once I've written the addressee a true letter or note of some sort, the transfer will take place.

In the meantime, I hope more of my friends and family will sign up for google accounts, for the simple selfish reason that I want you to read and post to my blog every now and again.

Merry Christmas. Your card is in almost* in the mail!

Ahh, the Sh@! saga continues

We are having a relatively "normal" dinner when this true account occurs.

Jacob: "Oh, sh@$"

Gene and I are mildly surprised but through a nod agree to do nothing and let it pass. Two more seconds tick by.

Jacob: "Mom, Dad! Did you hear me? I said sh@!"

Shoulders are shaking and we are desperately trying to let this pass. Not sure what to do at this point. Without being able to talk, we again try to move forward with dinner.

Jacob: "Sh@! … Sh@! … Sh@! … Sh@! … Sh@! … Sh@! … Sh@! … Sh@!"

There has to be a moral of this story. One might ask where we went wrong. I'd love to blame preschool, I really would, but this word belongs to me and Gene both.

I say it on a very regular basis and immediately catch myself, to which I have sometimes in fact responded with the very thing that led me to cringe in the first place.

Gene and the blazing cupcakes, another tragic slip.

However, the question is in this very situation at the dinner table, what should we have done?

Parents?

I love writing!

A story I wrote for the Topeka Captial Journal



Is the link working?

http://cjonline.com/stories/121906/loc_fundraiser.shtml

Falling off the wagon

Ouch! It hurts.

I scowl at the scale as I walk past it. All around me are tales of success stories of people who are able to 1) set a goal and 2) to actually accomplish said goal.

Today, I drank six, yeah, count 'em, SIX cans of Coke-a-Cola! I ate potato chips with French Onion dip. I did have pretzels at work today with all those COKES.


Then there is the Financial Peace wagon. Yeah, fell off that one, too, but that's an entirely different blog.

I can already hear the voices of my friends, "don't beat yourself up. You try to do too much. You have to breathe. You are doing fine. We all make mistakes. REGINA, breathe, what do you need to do?"

Me: "I don't know!"

them: "Regina, what do you need to do."

Me: whiny noises.

them: "Regina?"

Me: "Connect with God and step up to the plate yet again." Whoosh, the words come out, but I don't mean them yet. I have this habit of saying and thinking I'll do the right thing knowing full well I'm already more than halfway to the wrong thing.

I have awesome friends and I love them dearly, and I do value their advice. I wish they didn't have to keep giving it to me over and over again.

I'm either all the way on the ball or so far off it ain't even funny. Do you know that when I went to school in Texas, we used to get spanked in front of the classroom for saying ain't. I once got spanked for laughing when my friend Dallas was getting the spanking. Then we had to write our names on the paddle.

Anyway, I digress. How do you all do it? Keep it together, I mean? Our church has this saying that goes something like this. "It's not about me. It's all about God and how he wants me to live. I will pray, read my Bible, witness and give because it's not about me. It's all about Him."

I am whiny, selfish and greedy, and these are only the things I am comfortable admiting.

AND, I am extremly compulsive when I am stressed out, and I am ALWAYS stressed out. I'm so glad my friends love me. I'm so very lucky that my friends love me.

HEY FRIENDS: IF YOU LOVE ME, POST ON MY BLOG!

Whoo-Hoo

My grades are done, my grades are done, la-la-la-la-la, my grades are done. Whoo-Hoo!

You get what you get …

and you don't throw a fit.

Apparently, this little mantra is one that my son hears a lot at preschool. He says it quite often at home, partly because he has realized it gives me a laugh.

I am beginning to think a lot of grownups, myself included, could benefit from this advice. Life happens to all of us, and some of us take it in much better stride.

Oftentimes, the things we whine and complain the most about are not even things out of our own control. We make choices each and every day that come with these little things called consequences.

Take for example the student who fails to plan properly and then is going hyper crazy at the end of the semester. Every student has a way of claiming that every professor thinks his or her class is the only one a student takes. Give me a break. Most professors make the class requirements clear at the beginning of the semester.

If you have a week when everything is due, here's an idea. Start on something EARLIER.

It's true. I have reached the point in the semester where I no longer find myself sympathetic to the endless barage of pitiful excuses I recieve from the masses.

When it comes time to enter those final grades, dear students, just remember, "you get what you get and you don't throw a fit!"

Stupid media

So, the media is full of weather hype, which can only lead to disappointment if you are a student of USD 501 or Washburn University.

Even though I am not a student, I must admit that the prospect of a snowday still thrills me and delights me. Knowing full well it takes a major weather incident to cancel class, I still stayed warm under my covers longer than I should have.

I blame the media. All the hype in the world does not close these two organizations. And, to add insult to injury, we are forced to scroll through ALL THE OTHER CLOSINGS before we reach the two that never close.

AAUUUGGGHH. Stop talking about the "severe" weather, mr. meterologist, cause I'm not buying it!

8,114 words

Yes, I have 8,114 words. And, yes, that's a few shy of the 50,000 required. I'm behind, but I'm still plugging along.

Oh, well. I am having fun writing it. I need to upload my pages, but I like to update it here as well. I am enjoying the story so far, but I have yet to show anyone.

Monthly madness

So, I had a wellness coaching session Monday. It went well, but I am already doubting my ability to stick with a plan that is to my betterment.

After watching a bit of Bridget Jones for the second time in three days, damn cable tv to hell, I find myself identifying with Ms. Jones.

Oh, I've got some of the equation right. I have a fantastic husband and two great boys. I have a job I love as well. It's just ME that I seem to have a problem with.

I do not desire to be a super model. OK, I have "accepted" the fact that I am no super model. I mean, who would turn down super-model-dom? Surely, not me.

At any rate, Ms. Jones constantly resolves to do better in a few key areas and then battles herself as she attempts to stay within the limits she has for herself.

I eat crap. I gain weight like crazy. I hate shopping for clothes because it only illustrates how completely unsuccesful I am at losing weight and I totally lack fashion sense.

The coach asked me a lot of questions that got me thinking. One stands out. She asked me what benefits I got from eating at McDonald's. Huh? Benefit? Well, she said there had to be one or I wouldn't do it. Hmph!

I really want to lose weight as the result of living a healthier lifestyle. Mostly because I want to be a good role model for my boys, and I don't want them to find me to be an embarrasment either. And, I don't want them to have to struggle with food choices forever.

A friend of mine argues that motivation, self-control and discipline are pretty close concepts. Ha! Not to me. They might as well be an ocean away from each other.

At the result of this meeting, I did make some goals, which I shall share. I'll keep you posted.

By the end of February, I Regina Anne (yes, note the 'e' at the end) will be exercising two days a week (specifically in the a.m. on Tuesdays and Thursdays), drinking (would be lots more fun to stop here) 62 ounces of water seven days a week and limiting my eating out at lunch to two times per month.

But, by the of one week, which ends Nov. 28, I was to become an SRWC member (check!) and drink 32 oz. of water for at least 5 of the 7 days (let's see, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Oooh, I can still make this one, too!)

She also said that one should keep the number 3,200 in mind. That's roughly 100 calories a day to a pound. Decrease 100 calories and lose 1 pound in a month. Or eat the same amount and increase burning of 100 calories (yes, this would be exercise. She said walking about a mile would do this.)

Think about it, you eat four Hershey's kisses, about 100 calories, and it takes 1 mile to burn it off? Hmm. How does that work out with time? If you are slow and do a 10 minute mile, that would be 10 minutes to work off 10 seconds of eating. NOT FAIR. NOT FAIR. NOT FAIR. NOT FAIR. Tantrum is over, on to writing on my novel.

Conferences

2006 has not been a good year. In fact, I would likely give it a D+ overall. Now, it was not without its ups, but I will not be sad to see it go.

Lately, as the stress mounts and the work piles up, I have been thinking about my job and my future. Juggling a life as a full-time wife, mother and teacher is challenging and even overwhelming at times.

But, God has a great way of putting things back into perspective for me. A few weeks back, one of my students suggested that I pull my feature writing class in for individual conferences. I generally do this earlier in the semester, but I had honestly forgotten.

I only have eight students in the class, but it's a great class. The whiner in me often wishes that I could remove one student from each of my classes each semester. In this class, however, I find them all delightful.

I love reading their blogs, finding out what they hope to achieve and getting to know them as individual writers. I have been impressed numerous times this semester, and I hope they will leave with a positive experience.

They have a major story due, a test and their reading assignment all due before I assign them a grade in three weeks, so it might take them some time to take me off their most wanted list.

At least I hope they will take me off there.

Now I'm the weak link

Or was, rather.

Jared has had the stomach flu. He threw up three
times Tuesday and managed to generate almost three loads of laundry
just himself. Last night was my turn. My momma came over yesterday from
KC to watch Jared, who I still didn't feel was quite back to himself,
and I had planned to work Thursday night and get up early Friday to
head to work before my dentist appointment in Lawrence.

Ha. Ha.
I am miles behind and anyone who knows me knows how much of a baby I
can be when it comes to throwing up. Gene took good care of me last
night, and I even encouraged him to go ahead and sleep with Jacob. I
spent all morning in bed and the afternoon on the couch. Now I'm trying
to fake normalcy b/c Jacob was convinced that the flowers he and Gene
brought me would heal me completely. I love them both so much.

And then there's Gene, who might be wishing he had slept with Jacob right about now. He had to go to a b-ball game in Emporia and was supposed to be on the radio tonight. He thought throwing up in the parking lot would be more fun.

Well,
I'm a bad mom, too. I ordered Pizza Hut for the boys tonight. I hope to
spend the rest of the night quietly with the boys. I'm praying
fervently that Jacob does not get this crap, too, especially after
cheese pizza!

After Jared goes to bed, perhaps Jacob and I can play a stimulating game of Candyland, Dora Explorer style, until it's his turn for bed.

Wow. What a Friday night, eh?

Community

I've decided that the holidays are a perfect time to make anyone who might read this aware of some needs that you might be interested in meeting. This comes from the Battered Women's Task Force of Topeka.

Thanks! Regina

** I do use labels on my blog. To see other community-oriented blogs, you could just click on the Community label. (This is the first post, however)



Good afternoon everyone!

The BWTF 2006 Holiday Wish List is below. Please help us get the word out to the community about our needs over the holiday season. YWCA Battered Women Task Force relies upon the generosity of our donors to provide gifts for the women and children we serve. In keeping with the YWCA BWTF mission, no violent toys, games or movies please. All donations should be new and unwrapped.

Baby and Children?s Wish List (ages 0-10)
Non-violent toys
Hats, gloves, scarves, jackets
Diapers and wipes
Leapfrog learning toys
Bouncy seat
Building blocks or Legos
Movie gift certificates
Board games
Arts and craft supplies (coloring books, crayons, markers, etc.)
Dress-up sets
Books
Bicycles

Preteen & Teen Wish List (ages 11-17)
Gift certificates for video games or movies
Hats, gloves, scarves, jackets
Portable cassette or CD players
Sports equipment
Young adult books
Board games
Electronic games
Computer games
Journals & Planners
Hair accessories
Jewelry
Science Kits (ant farms, chemistry sets, rock tumblers)
Movies
Teen Room Décor (Posters, Lava Lamps, Door Beads, Pillows, etc.)
Art Supplies (colored pencils, sketch pads, paints, etc)
Bicycles

Women?s Wish List
Gift certificates (clothing, food, movie rentals, gas)
Perfume (no sample sizes please)
Jewelry
Watches
Journals
Phone cards
Makeup (no sample sizes please, especially for women of color)
Bath robes & slippers
Candles
Throw Blankets
Picture frames & photo albums
Purses & bags
Gift baskets
Small kitchen appliances

Other
Gift boxes & gift bags
Wrapping Paper
Ribbon
Tissue Paper
Stockings
Batteries

The BWTF Holiday Wish List is also online at: http://www.ywca.org/site/pp.asp?c=8nKFITNvEoG&b=1188691

6, 851 words

After a long conversation with my sister tonight, I had to write on my novel. She gave me lots of great things that I could work in. I didn't work on those parts tonight, but I did add a few words.

Yes, I know I am dreadfully behind, but I am hoping I can write some over the break. Perhaps my hubby will bring home the laptop for me to use. Not that I enjoy typing on a laptop.

Wish me luck as my novel continues to unfold. I'm not sure how long before I'll let anyone read it. It's a very personal thing. Writing about real life is one thing. It really happens. Making up a world forces you to question whether it's believable, entertaining and "real."

Desperation

A stack of unopened mail conceals the hairbrush underneath. Walking through the small house once again, she is getting angrier by the second that not one of the three hairbrushes is anywhere in sight.

The baby comes running down the hallway. "I see you found a hairbrush," she says, trying to snatch it away quickly.

Not taking the loss well, he stomps his little feet and knocks over the tub of toys in the hallway. Next, he goes into attack mode and bites his mom as she tries to run a brush through her now semi-damp, semi-styled hair.

"Oh, forget it," she mutters handing the brush back to him. "Happy?" His grin disarms her somewhat. Walking back toward the toys, she bends to scoop them back up.

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees her oldest charge down the hall, knocking baby and brush into the wall.

Breathing deeply, she reminds herself that children are a blessing. Scooping up the hysterical one, she takes him to the sad place in the hallway and lets him bang the heck out of the chime that hangs just out of reach, perfect for occasions such as this.

"Please be careful and watch for your brother," she warns the offender, who spies the brush that has been abandoned. Picking it up, he banged his way down the hallway. Seeing his brother take away his prize causes more fits.

"It's only 9:30 a.m." she says to herself. She release the baby and watches as he heads to the back room. She sinks down and finishes the toy task.

Hearing the washer, she rushes to change the load before she forgets. A pan skids across the kitchen floor as her precious baby has found a new way to pass the Saturday morning.

From her vantage point, she sees the dishes from breakfast covering the counter, the pans and most of her plasticware strewn about the kitchen floor, the pile of toys carelessly tossed next to the toybox in the front room and she doesn't even have to look to know all the toys in the backroom have been dumped out as well.

"It's only 9:35 a.m." she repeats as the phone rings. Grateful for the distraction, she hears her mom's voice.

It's only a quick call, but the new destruction to her house is quickly apparent.

Thinking back to a few days before when she had worked hard to clean her house, she really wanted to cry. Such a crappy cycle, and I'm stuck in the middle of it, she thought.

Losing all interest in cleaning, she sits down and tries to concentrate on her adorable boys. Now that the house is trashed and she is sitting down to play with them, the pair has decided to play quietly on their own.

The minutes tick by until she decides to make an early lunch. One way or another, she was taking a nap today. The laundry, kitchen, piles of toys, the upopened mail and unbalanced checking account would have to wait.

This momma needed some rest.

My boys

Jared and his favorite toy

Jacob and his favorite girl, Addison

Jacob being a silly boy

Jared and the chocolate pudding

Jacob and his pudding

Success

I'm not sure how I managed to delete the text of my first post on this title, so here I go again.

Now though, I'm feeling lazy and will offer only the highlights:

1. Jared's ear tube procedure was an amazing success.

2. I will return to work Thursday (yeah)

3. I owe a big thank you to my mom-in-law for coming to stay with Jacob.

4. I also owe a big thank you to my dear friend Anna, who came to wait with us at Single Day Surgery, even after first going to the hospital. Apparently, I had failed to mention the location of said surgery. (sorry, Anna)

5. I am very behind on my novel as I have felt pretty crappy most of the day.

6. At 8 a.m. tomorrow, I will find the cost to do a complete remodel on my bathroom, which I hate with a passion. Pray that the cost is in the Cassell budget.

Technology

So, last night I spent a little bit of time putting some songs on my ipod. I'm behind in my novel-writing attempt. In my effort to blur the lines of my family life into ficiton, I find myself questioning the way I've portrayed my family, who have received new names, of course.

I am terrified at the thought of anyone actually reading the words as they are at this moment. Hmm.

Anyway, so I have strep throat, it's past the point when I should be in bed, and I say to my husband, "Hey, honey. Can you dump my ipod off the desktop and save a copy of my novel to my jump drive?"

Then it just hit me that a few years ago, that question would have seemd ridiculous. Ipod? Jump drive? Give me a break.

Ranting, pure form

So, I worked my butt off Thursday night so I could sleep in a non-destructo home (when you are ranting, grammar and real words are optional)

Tonight, instead of redoing all that I did on Thursday, I watched TV. Yes, I watched TV. Now, my deck is clean and my yard looks fairly nice, but my kitchen is beyond wrecked.

And, I have two clothes baskets full of clothes that need to be put away. I hate washing three loads of laundry and already having two the very next day. aaauugggh.

There are toys everywhere and most of my plasticware is also spread throughout the house as that's my sons favorite play thing. He especially likes to wear the strainer on his head.

I did spend good quality time with my kids all weekend, but I truly feel as though I accomplished litle else. What is the secret for doing the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over without LOSING YOUR MIND?!

Well, I must think about going to bed as it is now 11:25 p.m. and it's another big week in the big old world -- whoo-pee!

Saturday

My blog is becoming a diary of sorts, only for the masses (wishful thinking) to read.

Today was Saturday. The ending to my oldest going to bed at 5:30 p.m. was his arrival in our bed at 5:30 a.m. Wait, it gets better. He was also sort of throwing up, not really because he had not eaten for quite awhile. Poor guy. He threw up off an on until about 8:30 or so when Gene finally decided to get up. I think Jared and I slept (sort of) until 9:30-10ish.

Made a trip to Sam's Club, very exciting. Jacob wanted to eat at the "chicken" place where you get "chicken, Cheetos and a drink." Turns out, he wanted KFC.

Gene had to work at 2 p.m. and has yet to return from his two-sport day. Yet another sport day will follow tomorrow. I'm sure you can sense my joy about this fact.

Jacob and I had a busy afternoon while Jared napped it away. We raked leaves, cleaned gutters and "found" the deck. It looks so pretty now. I'm not sure how I'll feel to wake up in a few hours and likely discover it covered in leaves again. I hope raking counts as exercise b/c I drank soda and ate chips today.

Then I took Jared for an after-dinner haircut, and to top off our BIG Saturday night, we went to Wal-Mart. Yeah, me.

I did not write in on my novel today because I am feeling a bit out-of-sorts and almost rebellious. Maybe I should just go to bed.

Oh, yeah. I almost forget. I bought a new razor at Wal-Mart. Big splurge. I had to buy a new one because my old one was so old that they are no longer selling blades for it. I told Jacob and Jared they were lucky not to have to shave their legs. They just looked at me like I was nuts.

Little Spooks

Jacob, our little pirate

Jared, a cross between, a bat, a cat and a burgular

Weighing In

So, a friend of mine is wondering if it would be appropriate to confront overweight people about their weight the way smokers are often confronted about their nasty habit.

Claiming its basically the same thing, he wants to be able to tell the scale-tippers to stop frequenting buffet lines, all fast food establishments and to exercise good judment when ordering in restaurants.

In the end, I think we agreed that we are all slaves to our addictions, whether it be eating, smoking, consuming alcohol or massive amounts of caffeine. We all have to deal with these "afflictions" on a daily basis, so perhaps it's best to encourage each other in love.

I personally wish someone would hold me accountable for my food and exercise choices. When it comes to self-control and discipline in those areas, I sort of SUCK.

He sleeps

My oldest son was not a very nice boy at preschool today. He was
hitting and kicking his friends at preschool which is not a "safe"
choice.

And, apparently, he is a monster at nap time. They only need him to be quiet for 20 minutes so that the other children can go to sleep. Umm, this is not happening.

And, I believe it's important as parents to stay consistent with punishment and I was pretty much determined to take away privileges at home.

Turns
out, he decided to take them away himself. He feel asleep in the car.
I'll have to let you know how the story ends. Generally, I am a bit
concerned with my 3-year-old goes to sleep at 5:30. I kept thinking he
would wake up, but this has not been the case.

5,034

Right on schedule. Of course, it's only day 3. I'm wondering if my story is going to run out before I get to the correct word count. I have a pretty good start now, but I sometimes have to go back and recall what I've named certain characters. Oops.

Maybe I need to make some cliff notes or something.

Unless you've been reading my blog, you likely have no idea what I'm talking about. If you would like, click on the NaNoWriMo label for full disclosure.

2,592 words

I didn't quite make the 1,667 words today, but that's OK. I'm at an average of 1,200. Before I sat down to write, I cleaned the kitchen, ran the vacuum, folded clothes and put away laundry, found my bed and picked up after small group tonight.

Oh, and I also had to pay bills. I feel pretty good about my productivity. I hope to spend a couple of hours writing this weekend to perhaps store up some words, so to speak.

Now, I'm off to bed. Hooray.

1,673 words

I have written 1,673 words of my November novel. It's called Boxed In. For those of you who know me, you will no doubt get the little joke in the title.

My sisters would likely follow it with uh-uh.

At any rate, it's harder to write this novel than perhaps I anticipated. I have the idea, but I've always written in newspaper and/or essay style. Dialogue is new for me, but essential for my story.

It's going to be interesting. November = 50,000 words. Maybe I'll finish early over Thanksgiving break.

It's gonna be a draft. A very rough draft, but it's something.