First day of First Grade

Another school year has started. And, no, it's not chilly in Kansas today, but apparently Jared is cold. Jake changed his mind about what he was wearing today about six times. By now, he is in his classroom, sitting at his little desk (I hope). Jared returned to preschool full time Monday, so we are slowly getting back on schedule.

Baby Grace

My uncle and his wife had a beautiful seven-pound baby girl this week. Her name is Grace. Grace was born and originally diagnosed with a condition called osteogenesis imperfecta

This dear baby girl has multiple broken bones and an uncertain prognosis as doctors try to manage her pain and promote healing. Her parents are overwhelmed with love for this baby girl and full of fear and anxiety.

The doctors do not know exactly what is wrong now because it is something they have not seen before. Her case is being studied by doctors at this time.

I am not sure how to conduct business as usual with the mental photo of baby Grace in my mind. I love God and believe he has the perfect plan, a plan that I cannot understand, of course.

Friends, I covet your prayers and support for my uncle and his wife. Pray for wisdom, protection and the meeting of needs for this family. Pray that they will feel the enveloping and real love of our Holy God each and every day.

Thank you, dear friends.

Jared's day

So today at preschool, my youngest child decided to pee in the playhouse outside at preschool!

In addition to that, he was calling his friends stupid and hitting. aauuggh!

So, we talked tonight while Jacob was in the shower about not peeing outside. Then I remembered the sage advice of telling them what they are supposed to do, not what they should not do. After I am satisfied that he knows we go potty in the BATHROOM, we move on to language.

Me: "Jared, we say nice things. Like pretty." (OK, so I was not prepared and pretty was the first nice thing that popped into my head.

Jared. "I not pretty. I am a boy. Boys not pretty."

Me: "Oh."

Jared: "I don't like pink. I like blue. I like red." (apparently pretty = pink in Jared's economy.)

Me: "Well, you can tell your friends at school who are girls that they are pretty."

Jared: "Kyra my friend. I not call her stupid. Nice things."

I swear. Those books do not cover things like this!

Monthly post, barely

If God did not want me to blog, he would not have given me Jacob and Jared. Today has been full of those "special" moments.

This a.m. Jacob and I were the first ones awake and were enjoying some time together in the kitchen. I was really enjoying the special time we were having, but how quickly things can change.

Enter the youngest son and suddenly Jacob's cheery mood and attitude has left us, easily discerned by the shove he gave Jared.

A few moments of sibling junk goes down and Jared goes off to chase something shiny.

Me to Jacob: "What happened to my sweet little boy I was spending time with this morning."

Jacob: "Well, it's your other little child that ruined it. He's been scratching me all morning."

Me: "I've been watching you the whole time, and you are the one who is being mean."

Jacob responds that basically it's his duty to do it.

Dear blog,

I am freaking out! My to-do list could stretch a literal mile in 10-point font. There's no breathing. Who has time for that?! And, yes, I'm using questions in my writing. Questions!!!!! And multiple exclamation points. Yes, I've truly gone over the edge. aaauuugggghh.

Remember the "Just say no!" campaign? Well, I never got the chance to say "no" to drugs because no one ever offered me any. And, I never got that practice of actually saying "no." So, I say yes to everything! Yes! I can do it! Sure! Why not?!

I am going to regress. I'm going back to those "just say no!" days.

Regina, do you want to … ?????

NO! I DON'T!

hello blog

My life, as usual, is a never-ending battle of tasks. My sanity lies somewhere in the middle of the whirlpool.

So last night was my son's first program. The kindergarten and first grade classes performed about seven songs in the middle school's gymnasium.

I must say it does something to a mom's heart watching her child in a group of his peers. Standing alone from his family, already more independent than a mere nine months ago.

Thankfully, he is quick to show his youth and continued need for his mother, if only for a little longer.

My mom the rockstar

My mom is a rock star. My husband took me away for Valentine's and had arranged for the boys to stay with my mom and dad. Two minutes from their house, our littlest guy was throwing up in his jacket.

Uh-oh! Instead of canceling my Valentine date, my mom shooed me away for the weekend while she washed both clothes and Jared numerous times. Sunday she took him to the doctor and learned he has a bad ear infection and is short one ear tube.

Then Monday and Tuesday, she kept him so I could continue to pound away on my relentless schedule.

As if I don't already owe this woman a huge debt of gratitude for giving me life and all. I know she's tired, and she always works hard. But, she's always right there to save the day. I guess being a mom is really a forever thing.

So today, I am just extremely thankful for mine.

By the way, I want to also note that my dad pitched in, too. And my sister Jenny whisked Jacob away from the barfy times at grandma's to fun and games at her place.

Faith

This morning when I was in the shower, I thought of Peter and Jesus.

Imagine being able to tell the creator of the universe that you wanted to walk on water, and then hear him say, "well, are you coming or not?" (yeah, it's my paraphrase, check it out for yourself)

As Peter started out, he was doing it. He was walking on water. But like so many of us, he let the "noise" of the world slip between him and the sight of Jesus.

Ooops. Game over. Of course, despite his lapse, Jesus was right there by his side to save him.

Do you have a direct line of sight on the Savior? Or like me, do you need to continually ask for it and seek it?

Merry Christmas!

Well, the photos of the family were shipped today and the boxes of Christmas cards are in sight. Now, it's a writing project as I refuse to send cards without personal notes inside.

I've decided to attempt to draw my family and friends into my social networks for the holiday season. So, if you were directed here or made it all by yourself, Merry Christmas! You made it and your comments are welcome. Please share with us any family blogs or sites of your own.

Here's the family report.

Gene and Regina:
Still working at Washburn (Gene finished 10 years, Regina is working on nine). We are busy parents, trying to carve out time for each other to keep our own sanity. We keep plenty busy chasing our children, attending our Church events and working.

Jacob, age 5, kindergarten
He's reading and writing and counting. He attends Randolph Elementary and his teacher is Ms. Hoyt. We've learned a lot about the school system this year. We thought it might simplify life a bit, ha ha.

Jared, age 3, preschool
Jared is now at Bright Circle Preschool, a fact Jacob finds most unfair. The building was remodeled and for a week, the kids were relocated to our church, Covenant Baptist Church. He loved going to "my church" and showing off everything to his friends. I must say it's most comforting when your preschool director is also a member of your church. Jared loves preschool and is in great hands.

The Cassells
We wish you all a very Merry Christmas. Just take a moment to stop and reflect on the miracle of Christmas. That the creator of the universe would humble himself into a lowly manager so that we might spend eternity in his fellowship is amazing. Whether your life is filled to the brim with people and blessings or lacking a bit of each, remember Jesus loves you, no matter what.

Happy Thanksgiving

The holiday that signals the mad dash to Christmas is almost here. Black Friday looms nearer every day. Tonight I was listening to man who called into K-love, a great Christian radio station I listen to often. Anyway, he was answering a call to hear from someone in every state about his thankfulness. As he rattled off his list, he began to get chocked up about all of his blessings.

Sometimes when I look around the world, its many problems grab prime real estate in my mind. Plenty of people are lost and hurting this holiday season.

If you are one of those, I pray you are able to find some joy and hope in knowing that the creator of the universe, not only created you in love, but longs to fill your heart until it overflows with joy, peace and thankfulness.

My blessings are many this holiday season and truthfully, my burdens are light when I share them with my Jesus.One of my favorite parts of a praise song reminds me that not only do I belong to Jesus, but he, too, belongs to me.

Sisters

My youngest sister is a temporary guest in our room. She's a college student with a relatively new boyfriend. Her life is a bit different from mine. As a mother of two married for almost 12 years, I seem to lack some of yesterdays' energy.

She's a total neat freak (yes, we all blame our mother for this). She was complaining about how dirty her socks were. Taking it as an insult toward my housekeeping abilities, I gave her my famous big sister stare/glare.

"Yesterday, I had a waffle stuck to my sock," she said. Yes, Jared does help me out by carrying his plate into the kitchen. Sometimes, he gets distracted.

And, my sister has certainly put in enough time helping me out with the constant, losing battle of tidiness at home. Still I think she maybe is being a bit too harsh, and then I remember the other incident.

As I made up the room for her arrival, the boys decided they would sleep in her bed the night before. I didn't even tuck them into the bed as they preferred to use their sleeping bags on top of the quilt. I thought they were finished with their syrup-free bedtime snack of waffles. Apparently, not.

"And don't forget," my sister continued, "the first night I stayed here, I woke up with a waffle stuck to my leg."

Bedtime

No matter which toy was touched, the tears, hitting and wailing filled the room.

She sighed. After a very early morning, she was hoping to stretch the boys' bed time in hopes of a Saturday morning sleep-in. Putting them to bed early did not appeal.

Perhaps showers will calm them down. The youngest earned the first spot by smacking his brother upside the head with a car. After screaming throughout his shower, she is quickly losing home.

Then the drama king enters the scene. A fan of hot showers at 5, the shower does in fact take away the tears. However, the shower does not stop the violence against his brother.

More tears. OK, bedtime has arrived about 45 minutes early. No complaints. No one came out of the bedroom time and time again.

Oh, dear. She should be in bed, not blogging. It's going to be an early morning … for her husband (ha ha).

Celebrations

Big celebrations this week.

1) No more pull-ups! Our accident rates are way down and we have had many accident-free days since we pulled the plug on the pull-ups about three weeks ago.

2) Jacob has learned to tie his shoes. Victory is ours. He gets lots of practice as I image all beginners do. It has been alleged that I am the only family member who ties her shoes backward. Go figure.

Date Night

Some might argue it's not wise to "date" two boys at the same time, but my boys took me out on the town tonight. My regular fella had to work.

Yeah, nothing but gourmet McDonald's for me. The ambiance enhanced by those children running around like lunatics without parental supervision.

But, for our date, my boys were really good.

They managed to eat their dinner between climbing sessions. Knowing them, they probably worked off their dinner as they were eating it. Lucky fellas.

The promise of ice cream exacted a neat, scream-free retreat to the car. Oh, what a night.

Weighing In

So I skipped my Bible study last night to go to the store and bring home food for the family and to watch the VP debate. A friend of mine said my penalty was a post. I would have gotten to it sooner, but I was out buying a gigantic BOX. (another story entirely)

As I am sure most people have heard, neither one of them fell on their face. Both had good points and bad points. Sarah Palin called John McCain a maverick in the Senate about 100 times too many, so my favorite point in the debate was when Joe Biden listed in fine form all the ways and times that McCain was not in fact a maverick. He had some good points.

Palin wants to hit Obama on the surge, the war and taxes. She does not do a great job of getting their new and fresh ideas out there, if they exist.

It's always hard to pull out the "pretty talk" from the facts. If you simply pick who sounds better, there is no choice but Obama. I've yet to see McCain come close to his poise. I hated the first debate. It did not seem like either one of them said anything useful. It was a contest to see who could not answer the most questions in a straight manner. We all lost this one.

The VPs were a bit more fourthcoming, but spent too much time arguing over voting records that without the full bills in front of us are not overly useful either. Palin did a good job of trying to force Biden to agree that he has things in common with McCain. But, Biden did a good job of convincing me that McCain might look a little too much like Bush.

I am not ready to put a bumper sticker for either candidate on my car, but if the election were today . . . I would vote for Obama.

Funny faces

Building Towers

Remembering the grueling morning five days ago of picking up and restoring order to her home, she looks around somewhat dismayed.

She wonders how many toys her boys even have considering that she has pared down the toy boxes at least a dozen times this year. As she struggles to find the motivation to begin again, she thinks of her oldest son.

Aha! The frustration he feels when his little brother insists upon destroying any of his block building projects slams into focus.

Laughing, she thinks of her advice to him. "Jacob, I am sorry your brother did that to you. But just think, now you get to start over and build something new."

Exercise

Yes, I still hate it. And no, I'm not doing it. It occurred to me today as I lugged my 30-pound bag up to the third floor that I hate exercise scams. OK, so I'm just mad that I bought Turbo Jam with the highest of hopes to actually get past the first video (OK, I did that one twice and the second workout once, to be fair to myself.)

On top of that, the plan involves being online for support and planning out a new crazy menu with foods my family will simply not eat. OK, my biggest deterrent to exercise is finding the time. How is adding six things PLUS exercise going to help me out.

Seriously. It's all a racket.

Relentless

I often wonder how often I repeat blog titles. This post is very random, very end of the week, very much a post of one tired mom.

Sometimes I love typing a blog for the mere fact that it reminds of me of scenes from one of my favorite movies of all time. "You've Got Mail." I love this movie. I love the e-mails that go back and fourth. I love the story. I love the soundtrack. It's all good. I have big parts of it memorized even. Thinking of the movie makes me smile, and I need to smile more.

I'm tired. It's been a long week. A long semester, only three weeks in. How does a person who is behind EVER catch up? Can anyone answer this question? If you fall behind once in your life, are you just screwed for life? I mean does life actually deliver the lulls we say we desire?

My house is a mess. Mostly because the task of getting it organized all at once seems daunting.

I spent a good part of "my time" last night cleaning the front room. Tonight my son Jared spent a good part of "his time" reversing any progress.

I try to exercise. I start out fine, then I lapse. I usually get sick (someone says because being healthy helps your body expel all sorts of bad stuff from your body, which can make it icky in the process. -- another reason to jump on the treadmill).

Being healthy is just too damned trendy for me. I can't even buy a pair of shoes for heaven's sake. AND I AM TIRED OF BREATHING and expecting the world to just flutter into its place around me.

And money. I suck at money. I have been credit-card free for practically one year (come October). Shocking for this former addict (see former posts, geez). Wish the debt were gone. Wish a FREE PUBLIC EDUCATION did not cost so much. Wish I learned my lesson about money the first eight billion times I screwed it up.

Are you still reading this? Seriously? I need to go to bed. aauuggh.

clutter

It's everywhere.

In my home, in my office, in my schedule. aauugh!

Truth

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor.

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners,

to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion--

to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.

They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.

They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated; they will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated for generations.

Isaiah 60:1-4 (NIV)
My friend, hear the truth God wants you to hear.

Sleeping Rockstar

Breathing

Silence creeps over her house as she has sent its occupants to bed. A mile a work looms before her, but focus will not come.

The day's frustrations along with an unyielding schedule and various life crises seem to circle her mind like a vulture looking for its victim, finding only her mind.

Slipping away, she thinks of her boys and her husband. Tries to count her many blessings.

Taking a deep breath, she reaches for her Bible study. Work will wait. God knows what she needs.

Internet

It's a vast and often unforgiving expanse. It has literally changed the culture we live in. It has brought the world closer, given access to millions and put the market at anyone's fingertips.

For all its pearls, there lurks within it a powerful potential for downfall. From online predators to rampant victims of the pornography market, even simple online friendships can lead down paths undesired.

Like anything else, the online world should be approached with caution and respect, lest you fall into its snare.

"Three Cups of Tea"

I've assigned my feature writing class to read this book, and I am rereading it along with the class to assemble assignments along the way. Even going back over the intro to chapter five, I am immediately pulled into and amazed by this book all over again.

You see, I've always believed in education, fiercely in fact. But, if anything, education merely points out one's ignorance in the larger world. There is no "done." There is no graduation from learning.

Just when you think you have put it all aside or arrived at your final world view destination, in comes something that the mind simply cannot erase.

Read this book. Expect to be changed.

F#$%! Insert Expletive Here

Can I just tell you that I HATE, HATE, HATE the freakin' computers at work? HATE them.

I try to encourage my sons not to use the word "HATE," but I HATE going to work every day with the reasonable expectation of accomplishing something only to be denied by the lunatics who think it's a good idea to put Macs on the network that clearly does not plaly well with actual programs we need and use. OK, so Adobe is also a big old pain in the ass.

Bright, shiny computers should not take five minutes to load a Web page. Some of my students cannot log into machines. They are working on the problem. Big flipping deal. Do they realize that I get roughly 30 class sessions to teach basic design theory and orient the students to software some of them cannot even access? Do they stand at the front of the classroom looking like a total dumbass when something does not work. Nope. Insert me for that role. I am angry.

And, NEVER use questions in writing unless you are super pissed!!!! Yes, multiple !!! are annoying and taboo also. I no longer care.

I could totally become a kick boxer or something because I'd like to kick the crap out of something.

One of my dear, dear friends from college used to delight me (and scare me a bit as well) by her famous fury when driving. She put the "rage in road rage" - -to keep up with my trite and ridiculous attempt to break as many rules as possible. No clichés if you can't keep up. (awww, that wasn't nice either. hmm, still don't care!) I fear I am going to turn in crazy girl every time I log into my wuad account.

On a totally unrelated note. I have a friend who has a good reason to be angry, but is showing more grace than anger. Normally, I support this tactic, but not today.

However, I was thinking of her when I saw this quote in the Barnes and Noble Bookstore (ahh, happy, happy place. Love the bookstore).

"Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try again tomorrow.'" Or so says Mary Anne Radmacher, who incidentally is a writer/artist who does not believe in capitalization.

By the way, a few Web types display this quote without giving any credit. Jerks! Yeah, we've swithced back to angry. Anyway, I should go back to my room and do my Bible study and give this nasty anger straight up to God. I might have to preface that step with a prayer that goes something like this. "Father, God. I am mad. I am mad. I am mad. Please place in me a desire to let go of this anger in your prescriptive manner. Amen."

Blah, blah, blah

There is much noise in the world today. Long lists of things to do and little time to play.


Choices steal moments away as she wonders whether to blog or actually write in her journal. Perhaps her Bible study requires her attention. Lists of things are not much fun.

Her boys tucked away in bed, her husband out on the softball field. Heavy eyelids, but laundry calls. If her house were clean, maybe this would not be such a sad song.

Garage sales, schedules and other things

I am having a garage sale. Thursday and Friday. I don't want to do it Saturday, but I just might.

So far, I am negative $4. I paid $29 for my classified and then sold my two car seats for $25. Yeah.

It's hard not to look around and see "STUFF" that you would like to banish from your life. It's hard to imagine the variety of people one needs to attract to a garage sale in order to sell all your stuff.

And, my schedule sucks. Or rather, I suck at my schedule. Or I can't manage to schedule myself. Whatever it is, it SUCKS.

Other: I HATE TOADS. Am desperately afraid of them actually. And, twice this month I have seen one in my yard. In TOWN. Completely unacceptable. I already hate being outside, now who will protect me from the scary toad? Gene already grows weary of the post.

Why tornados and the media are not a good mix

Last week, the "media" (yes, I do train aspiring young journalists as part of my job in higher education, but let's not stray from the point here). OK, so "the media" goes on and on all day long about a storm to end all storms. Everything is in place for one heck of a tornado. Whatever a storm needs to be a BIG concern, well as far as the media was concerned it was all there.

And, what happened, exactly? NOTHING! I'm all for advanced warning, but not the all-day, play-by-play weather. As if sports are not already out of control in our society, we are now turning our weather casting into a sporting-like event. Yuck. We get the before the event, the event and then the wrap-up of why the before the event stuff was WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!

I have to think God gets a good laugh out of the the people on the media's weather team, especially ones who work for TV.

So then a few days go by and a serious storm pops into Kansas again. Not so much hoopla, but I guess the storm got the last word after all.

Freedom!

To do what I want and when I want. Ha. Like such luxuries actually exist.

I want to enjoy a 3-day pleasure trip where I have nothing to do hanging over my head. Hanging over and sucking the very life from my body.

Clearly, it's time for a Coke : )

Jury Duty

So, I've finally been summoned for jury duty in my 34th year of life. So far, this has meant having my schedule held hostage. Trials for Monday and Tuesday have all settled out of court, leaving me to check the schedule come 5 p.m. today.

I would rather know, yes I am serving or no, I am done with this. I have things to schedule.

Oh, well. I would love to tell you what my week looks like, but I do not know. I do know that I had better finish up a project I have been putting off.

Cheerio.

My fellas

Bubbles

June 2, 2008

I am sitting here in my office looking out my big windows. It's a dark day in the capital city, storms a coming. The lights have flickered. Some counties have reported baseball-sized hail. A good way to start the week, eh?

Well, it's been awhile, dear friends. Give me some love if you read this : )

Yesterday our pastor shared with us a 14-day challenge. Our goal is to live with these three truths in mind.

1) Each second of each day is a precious gift from God.
2) All of my abilities and talents are from God.
3) Everything I own belongs to God. I am the manager, not the owner.

Well, this manager likes to blog. And it makes her happy. And God has given her the talent to blog, and so she must.

My poor, neglected blog

I miss you, dear blog. Perhaps we can reunite in May?

A Servant's Heart

In the middle of any crisis friends can fall into a variety of categories. First there is the one, typically like myself, who care deeply yet stand around not really knowing what to do and often, not always, end up doing nothing. Then there are friends who completely vanish until your life is back on "track."

Finally comes the friend who rolls up the proverbial sleeves and comes to work. Suddenly, it's like Jesus himself is ministering to your needs in a very tangible way. I love the idea of being Jesus to someone. Now, not to confuse the issue. Jesus is always King, Lord and God. There is no equal, but He does share his glory with those who choose to plug into his life code.

I have been having a horrible few months. Emotionally I am battle weary and my heart has been broken. There have been times when I needed a confrontation, and I have received it. Times I just needed a listening ear and I got that, too. This week though, I really needed something I can't even name.

Tonight I got it and I feel like I glow with blessing. My troubles are far from over and my life is just a bit messy right now. But, I have a wonderful friend with a servant's heart. And, oh, what a difference that makes.

Experiment

This past Sunday my husband and I decided to "fast" from the television for one whole week.

The ban was family-wide, and we had explained to Jacob that sometimes God asks us to do things and we have to be obedient to him. I told him we wanted to spend more time as a family, thinking of our blessings and what God has planned for us. He was agreeable and has not asked to watch TV all week.

We began this journey Monday, not knowing Wednesday would bring a snow day and a day home in the middle of the week. Instead of watching movies, we constructed blanket forts in the living room.

On Friday night we had some friends come over for dinner. Jacob was eager to greet our guests, so he yelled "Hi!" from the front porch. And then, "We can't watch TV because we are thinking about God."

I love my son so much, and I realized that if you ever really want to keep a promise you've made, tell a preschooler because there is no going back.

1,000 Words

My husband, my hero

It is 12:15 a.m. and my husband is at work. No, tonight it's not sports-related. My husband is at work because I managed to jam the copier pretty badly at work or I was rather the unfortunate soul who happened to be making copies during the copier's meltdown.

And, because I have class at 8 a.m. and am generally freaking out about the whole thing, Gene took my copies to his office to copy.

I love this man for so many reasons. We've been married almost 11 years (Gene says it rounds up to 11 as we're past the 10.5 mark.

Thank you God for such an awesome spouse.

On Simplicity

For years, I have been promising myself a leaner, meaner schedule, all the while coming up with several new and better things to do.

I teach three classes this semester at work and advise two award-winning publications. My days are filled with meetings, mostly with students. We are revising our curriculum and trying to hire a new faculty member, both of which mean more meetings. I am the second vice president for the Kansas Associated Collegiate Press, which means I have to plan the conference in April. Early April. I will be in New York City for one week this March working the registration area for the national College Media Advisers group.

I am the 2008 VBS coordinator at church. Let the countdown begin. I also teach a 13-week block of Sunday school and semi-facilitate a weekly women's Bible study.

I am a member of the Shawnee County Reserve Medical Reserve Corps because I have this idea I should contribute beyond my church and work duties.

I freelance for the Topeka Capital Journal, which you can visit and search for my name if you want to see what I have written for them.

I am a wife to a man with a crazy job and we have two boys who are 4 and 2, close to being 5 and 3. Our youngest sees a wonderful speech therapist twice a month at 8 a.m. I took him to the doctor six times in a month and a half before the holidays. (Please note this list is not in order of importance, obviously)

I am also a child of God. He loves me and wants me to spend my life loving him and allowing him to love me back. He wants me to be FREE, even though this control freak (me!) is not allowed to be in control. Nope. That's God's job, too. Love him. Spend time with him and his Word daily. Love his people as myself. All people.

My friends also insist that I must give up control of certain things around my home, too. If I give a job to my husband, I thereby relinquish all rights and control of said job. As another one of my tasks is to maintain our home, I must honestly say giving up all control of any household tasks just isn't on my to-do list today. Don't I have enough to do already? Geez! : 0 )

The Naughty List

I am pretty sure my pastor does not read my blog, and that is fine by me, especially today.

I am a multi-tasker, so today as I semi-listened to his sermon intro, I began to think about my faith in Jesus and my life in Christ. Our church is on the move and believe movement happens when fellow believers start by living revolutionary lives for Christ. As he marched through his intro, I was thinking about my current Bible school lesson and my women's Bible study. On a tear of some kind, I began rewriting some of my notes.

As he approached the meat of today's sermon, I did check in and gather the highlights. In case he does read my blog, today's sermon was from Joshua 24 and pastor calls this chapter a call to rededication. Joshua is addressing Israel and imploring the people to embrace God fully — heart, mind and soul (my words, not his). He goes on to suggest that he would rather they choose God completely or at least be honest about who they will choose to serve. In other words, if they won't agree to his terms, just say so and move on. Note that this is not what he desires for them at all.

As soon as we got there, I was really excited because it matches up so closely with the various verses I am trying to memorize for my other study. So, I began writing out each of the verses in my new notebook I have placed in my Bible bag.

I finished writing them all out as I sat in the bathroom while my youngest was in the tub. He's only 2, but as I read each of these verses aloud to him after I had scribbled them down, he locked his sweet baby blue eyes on my face and gave me his complete attention each and every time. Then he would give me a big grin and continue splashing around in the tub.

Just wait until he can understand what these words mean.

Frazzled

I absolutely resolve to stop writing phone numbers down on small pieces of paper that I proceed to lose on a very regular basis. This will save me a lot of stress, I think.

Just think, I won't have to rant and rave for however long it takes to find said piece of paper how irresponsible I am. Or how much I just want to jump off a building for such irresponsibility. (Yeah, I have a small flair for drama.)

My poor husband will be spared the rantings of a lunatic as well. There's no good place to stand when cornered by a ranting lunatic, especially if you had the misfortune of marrying her.

I've asked Gene to come up with five things he wants to change or think about changing in his life this year. They do not have to be earth-shattering things, but I want to drag him along on the ride. We've been married 10 and a half years, so it's not like my behavior is all that shocking to him, I suppose. One of mine is absolutely to stop writing things on those darn pieces of paper.

I suppose if I knew where my cell phone was, I could always plug numbers into it …

Quotables

From a sign my mother-in-law gave me for Christmas: "Mothers of little boys work from son up til son down."

From my oldest son after hearing a short kids sermon on how God does not take problems from us, but he walks us through them. When asked what he learned, he says, "God lets us keep our problems."

From Jared every night as he does his breathing treatment, "Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob." We've watched the same Veggie Tale show for five days now.

From me as I realize I am going back to work tomorrow. "Yes! Yes! Yes!"

the doctor's office

Jared and I have spent a lot of time in the Doctor's office lately. I do with this were not so. Check out this schedule:

Wednesday, Nov. 14: We see Dr. L for an ear check up. All is OK with ears and tubes.

Thursday, Nov. 15: Jared has a temperature and is coughing himself silly

Friday, Nov. 16: We see Dr. P to see what's going on with the continued fever and coughing. Chest is clear. No redness in ear. He wonders if ear tube in one ear is still working. No drugs. We think it's viral.

Monday, Nov. 19: Jared OK in the a.m., goes to daycare, has fun, wakes up with high fever.

Tuesday, Nov. 20: Back to the doctor's. Now we see Mrs. B (nurse practioner). She says definite ear infection. We get 3-day Z pack.

Friday, Dec. 7: We go back to Dr. P for a recheck of ears. All is fine.

Thursday, Dec. 13: Another fever at daycare. Coughing persists.

Friday, Dec. 14: Back to Dr. P. We have a new ear infection. 10-day antibiotic.

Monday, Dec. 17: Jared coughs pretty much all night long. And, I do mean all night long. Scary stuff.

Tuesday, Dec. 18: Mom calls Dr. P AGAIN. I love his nurse, Candy. She recognizes my voice. We think maybe he has asthma? We start taking a steriod twice daily for five days.

Thursday, Dec. 20: Back to Dr. L for the ears. He thinks ears look fine. It's the throat that is terrible. Jared refuses to cooperate at all with hearing test. This is problematic. Dr. L wants to continue antibiotic for 20 days total.

Gotta love this ride we are on!

Christmas Joy

As I was in worship service today with my son Jacob, we were singing Christmas carols. I always try to tell him as many of the words as I can so he can learn them.

The Bell song is waaay too fast for that. I was singing "merry merry merry Christmas" at mostly the right time. And Jacob was singing "give a give a give a 'garden.'"

I was trying to figure out why as I'm telling the story to Gene, who immediately realizes Jacob is singing the commericial for the Garmon, that new GPS thing.

Now he's walking around my front room saying "Every kiss begins with Kay."

No Christmas cards

There's absolutely no way I a going to even get them started before Christmas.

How does everyone feel about Valentine's cards? (And, yes, I know that's a question.)

In case you care …

I am done grading the content of the blogs. yeah! Only a few students lacked the magical 16 posts. Come great posts out there. All in all, I would like to give some shouts out. I will keep their blogs linked on mine until January or so. After that, anyone who stops posting gets cut.

My favorite overall blogs: Josh R., Jeannine and Josh N.

My favorite off the wall posts: Brandon

Poets: Danielle, Christie

Best mom stories: Tricia's messy milk story and Michelle's battle of the language

Most news: Nick

Most like fiction: Caleb

Fall Pics of the Fellas

It's 8:52 p.m.

As I type, I hear a rhythmic thump on the other side of the wall. It's Jared, throwing his football up against the wall.

He's supposed to be sleeping as I put him to bed at 8:08 p.m. He's managed to figure out how to turn on the bedside lamp all by his precious little self. What a blessing. Now, he throws a fit whenever I turn it off and then promptly turns it on again.

Jacob is sound asleep on the top bunk, so I'm not keen on getting my little one going by removing the light entirely. I should be grading …

Blogs

I have just finished reading all the comments my 18 students in feature writing posted on their classmate's blog. They were supposed to comment on one per week, with a total of 16. Take themselves out, and they should post on everyone's blog except one.

Several of them missed the mark. Only one lone blog had the attention of the entire class. The comments were insightful for the most part.

There was a lot of good writing in the blogs this semester. If you have a chance, check some of 'em out.

Santa

A photo of the boys with Santa and no one cried this year.

"Momma, can we please go see Santa today," pleaded Jacob.

"Go ask you dad," she replies knowing he has to leave at noon. To her surprise, he's up for it.

No line at the Mall. What a year!

Jacob approaches Santa, catalog in hand. She tried to tell him that Santa is magic. He listens to what little boys and girls want, but he makes the final decision based on how well he really knows the kid.

"No he doesn't momma. I am going to show him the picture of what I want, and he's going to go back to get it from his workshop and bring it to my house."

Surprise!

Thinking of the week he had survived, she slipped a partial package of mini Snickers into his coat pocket.

Days went by and nothing was said. Losing patience, she inquired to see if the gift had been discovered.

Discovered and devoured was the reply.

As she put on her coat to head back to work, she pulled out a surprise of her own from her coat pocket. He might not be too thrilled if she told everyone what it was …

I don't wanna …

• Grade, but there are stacks of it. If it were sound, I'd hear a stereo version.

• Clean, but my girlfriends are coming to my house for Bible study tomorrow

• Cook, but my family is expecting dinner tonight

• Exercise, but I hear it's the only way to shed those pounds.

• Work, so clearly I'm bloggin'

Recovering from grandparents

Disclaimer: I love my parents. I love Gene's parents, too. And, I absolutely want them to be a part of our children's lives in a real and significant and un-mandated sort of way.

****
It's true when they say there is no such thing as a "free lunch." Last Friday, I eagerly drove the hour or so to Kansas City to collect my fellas after they spent a week at their grandparents.

Our oldest has wanted to visit Marshall, Mo., for several weeks now and he made sure to emphasize several times that he wanted to take the trip ALONE or without his little brother.

My mom, clearly only looking out for MY best interests (she would steal Jared for life if she could get away with it), decided she would spend some time with my baby in KC as well.

I should have jumped in the car the moment after I got my hugs and fix of mommy kisses, but I wasn't fast enough. All of Friday night and most of Saturday, my boys slugged it out, which generally lead to hysterical crying by our oldest. The crying only seemed to inspire the youngest to greater heights of torment.

Sunday was the day of no naps. Sunday naps are a tradition in the Cassell home. A long-standing tradition minus the brief interruption of Jacob, who refused to sleep at any convenient time until he was 4-months-old. I went to bed grumpy and with a headache and got up (no 'waking' to be had) grumpier and throbbing only to discover no amount of rummaging or swearing would produce a bottle of ibprofen. Alleve just does not get the job done, folks.

Sunday night, Jacob told Gene he wanted to return to Grammy's house because she was nicer to him than us. Jared refuses to go to sleep unless I am in the room with him. Neither Jacob nor Gene will do.

You know, in a lot of cultures, the grandparents DO raise the children.

No, I suppose transition is hard for all of us. It's nice for them to experience being the one and only for a week here and there. Every time I think Jacob has told all there is to tell about his week with grammy and papa, he comes up with something new.

Jared does not say a lot, but when pictures of my mom or dad roll past on the computer, he jumps up and down and laughs.

What a blessing to know you are loved so completely by so many people. Still, a week of peace (and or a hectic work schedule) does exact its cost.

Christmas sans credit

"Oh, the holiday signs are frightful and I've lost my cards for shopping?"

OK, so not really a good replacement lyric for the holiday classic, but it's certainly how I feel. I know credit cards are bad, bad and worse. I've been there. I've racked up the debt. I've paid off the debt only to rack up the debt again. So why does doing the RIGHT thing feel so WRONG?

Why indeed? My sister from another mister has a theory, which I think she shared with my pastor because today's message hit me right between the eyes.

There are a million and one maybe two things I need to be doing right now in my life. One thing trumps them all. There are no shortcuts, no easy swipes of plastic, only heart grease and knee time can solve this problem. Hear my prayer, my father.

PMHP

Purpose.
Meaning.
Hope.
Peace.

A Bit Belated

And then Jacob said …

My voice sucks this week, so I was thrilled when Jacob picked out an "I Spy" book to read for bed Friday night.

Somehow, the topic of marriage came up with my 4-year-old as we hunted for the various objects on the page. He informed me that he was going to do something (wish I remembered that part) when he was married.

Me: Who are you going to marry?

J: Riley.

Me: Why Riley?

J: She is my favorite girl at school.

Me: Why?

J: She's very pretty. (Pause.) I need to marry a really pretty girl.

I am wondering how to reply to that when he says this.

"Boys can't marry boys, right mom?"

Uhhh?! Is this a random 4-year-old type of question or has he been talking to someone on the playground.

I sort of nod my head as a response. He continues.

"Boys can't marry boys that would be silly. Girls get the babies."

Just who is this child?

Me: "What do you mean?"

J: If you are gonna get a baby, you need a girl. God puts babies in their tummies."

I can only imagine the look on my face as I try to nod in agreement. Perhaps he wasn't quite sure where I stood on the issue.

J: Well, wasn't I in your tummy, mommy?"

Naughty mom for a day

So today, I pretty much let my kids do whatever they wanted to do. I have very little voice today, not that yelling at them seems to have much of an impact.

Relentless is a good word to describe two boys and a day full of activity. They popped into our room for some quick quality daddy time around 7:15 a.m. He left at 8 a.m. and has yet to return.

I tried to bribe them with TV as I cleaned up the house. Do you know I vacuumed my rug four times today? My mom will be impressed.

I let Jacob have 10 pieces of candy. And he counted it out and kept looking at me like my head would spin around. Jared ate two suckers at once. I tried to make them take naps so I could watch a few episodes of "Gilmore Girls" while I folded the mountain of laundry in peace! I got sick of yelling at them (as best I could) and putting them back to bed, so I finally gave up. (This was before the sugar ironically enough).

Then I decided I would just watch "Gilmore Girls" and let them run wild. I told Jacob if he told on his brother one more time that I was going to give him a second helping of Jared's offense.

Later, though Jared smacked Jacob with the hose to the sweeper, so I returned the favor. I would like to say that Jared stopped hitting Jacob afterward, but he didn't.

I have no idea how stay-at-home mothers endure this kind of abuse day after day.

Mom, please don't kill me

Well, the boys needed haircuts, and they got them. I think they are adorable, but there is no doubt in my mind that my momma will hate them. Admitedly, Jared's is a bit shorter than I expected, but his hair is a lot thinner than Jacob's. Anyway, it was a NUTTY week, and the deed is done. Perhaps they will have some length by Thanksgiving?

Two boys in a basket

Lies I have believed

I cannot tell you how many times I have refused to see truth because the lies were so much easier to believe. My new Bible study (see earlier post) has already shown me how important God's word is to be able to distinguish truth from lies. The world promotes all sorts of lies. People lie. Commercials lie. Satan is all about lies.

Here are some of the lies I have believed.

I have believed credit cards are OK as long as you manage them well. Nope. That's a lie that is going to cost me and family for the next few years. Debt is debt is debt. Even if it is only for one month.

I have believed that I am incapable of sticking to a healthy lifestyle. Another lie. God says our bodies are to be holy temples. He will provide the strength for me to prevail, as long as I don't lose sight of Him. (which I have in this area, incidentally)

I can be happy doing things my own way. BIG FAT LIE. I am a created being with a God-given purpose, which is to love and know my God.

I cannot put God first in my life because I am too busy. I have too many things on my list. I am overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of stuff I tell myself I need to do. Another one of the world's lies. Truth: If I put God first, the necessary things will fit in with his grace. Thank God!

The Devil made me do it

I'm in week two of my new Bible study. We are going through Beth Moore's "Breaking Free."

I love this study already, but her studies are quite meddlesome. She contends, and backs up scripturally as a side note, that any stronghold we allow Satan to have in our lives is based on lies.

And, only the truth we find in Christ has the power to set us free. Sin starts small. Then as it grows, so do the lies and the excuses. Bottom line for Satan, as long as we are not furthering the kingdom of God, he's happy.

And, if we are not living lives that reflect Christ, all the talk in the world is cheap, cheap, cheap.

Finally, to truly live in freedom, God's freedom, means two things. One is that you must continually be devouring and studying his holy Word. And second, you must have a meaningful prayer life to get to know your Savior.

New planner

Almost immediately she regretted wearing her "fun" shoes. Wishing for heavier bags to justify the elevator, she slowly began the climb to the third floor. This likely was the most leisurely part of her day.

Piles of paper beckoned to her as she frantically worked throughout the day to shorten her night. Hopeful in the a.m. that she might make a dent in the pile, she takes time to clean out the e-mail to-do list. (big mistake)

Later as she's moments from walking across campus for a meeting that will ultimately end her day, she pokes her head in the office. It's Oct. 3, and yet her new planner for 2008 has arrived.

Thinking of the many items already lining up to be penned into the new version, she sighs. It used to be a lot more fun to get a new planner.

Complicated

It's 7:57 p.m. and the house is quiet.

Her husband is working and her kids are in bed early tonight.

Working has always meant a motherly sacrifice, but today it was more so. A note from preschool warns of misdeeds by the oldest. She hates that she must burn what little time they have together by banishing him to his room for the evening. He hates it, too.

No books. No jokes. No fun. She hopes tomorrow will be a better day for both of them.

Man Training

Me: Who did you play with today?

Jacob: Dagan

Me: What did you do?

Jacob: We chased the girls. They wanted to talk to us, but we didn't want to hear it.

He's only 4 years old, folks!

Regina the freelancer

Wanna read some other stuff I wrote? I write for the Topeka Capital-Journal every now and again. Here are a few stories I've written. A couple of them are older, but the links still work. yeah!

http://cjonline.com/stories/091507/rel_199758789.shtml

http://www.cjonline.com/stories/080207/lif_188501037.shtml

http://www.cjonline.com/stories/110406/rel_nomeninchurch.shtml

http://www.cjonline.com/stories/121906/loc_fundraiser.shtml

Math is the devil

I'm not really against those who can comprehend the beauty of mathematics or actually saying Satan is behind all math (not quite).

My husband and I have started down our financial journey again. Stupidity is our major claim to struggle. We both have excellent jobs and a home we can afford, etc. It's the stupid stuff that trips us up.

The truth is that we like spending money, just like the rest of the world. See, that's problematic for me. I live IN the world, but I don't want to be OF the world.

That's why I spent most of my free time this evening working out our budget for next month because I've pretty much umm set this one in stone. (No money = no choices for budget).

However, that's OK. We're making progress each and every month. Yeah, us. We mostly used cash this month. The, ahhh, we'll call them slips, are what got us into trouble. It took me awhile for my spreadsheet to match the bank's math, but I did it. (Kudos to excel!)

Disciple. Cash. Prayer. Yep. I think that's got to be the secret.

Our pastor tells us we will change at the point at which it hurts more to stay the same rather than change. And we have to WANT to change. I see the wisdom in this, but I also see loopholes. At this point, it does not matter whether I WANT to change or not. God WANTS me to change. And, so we will (God and I). Then we (God and I) will join our other team (Gene and God) and we will kick some financial butt.

Who am I?

I am but a mere sinner saved by the same grace as everyone else who chooses to accept it.

Really, I'm not that deep. I'm a woman. I'm a wife. I'm a mother to two young boys. I'm a teacher. I'm a gal pal to a few other women. I am a Christ-follower. And, before I followed Christ, I was as lost as any other person on the earth and no more worthy as savior than they.

Compared to a holy God, most of us are not all that amazing.

My God died for me. My God died for many who will never chose to believe. Today my pastor asked us to consider whether we are excited about God's love for us. So here goes.

Am I excited about God's love for me when I'm trying to keep my 2-year-old son from hitting and pinching? Am I excited about God's love for me when I've just about had it with my 4-year-old son's mouth?Am I excited about God's love for me when I think about how much I really hate my husband's job, only because it takes him away from us so very much? Am I excited about God's love for me when I pick up Jacob and Jared's toys AGAIN? Or do three loads of laundry, only to pass by an already full clothes hamper?

Maybe not, but I want to be. Just the physical pain of a nail going through my hand catches my attention. But, do you really know what all they did to the God of the Universe? Those nails were only one small part. What about what my sin and your sin did to Him?

Now, that's some pretty amazing love. Yes, I do think so.

OK, so maybe I'm a little deeper today. Thanks for hangin' in.

The F Bomb

There was a time in my life when I thought the use of this word was actually pretty cool.

At other times in my life, it flew out of my mouth on a rather regular basis. (Think college. Think newspaper deadline nights. Think dumb boys most gals date at some point in life.)

On very very very rare occasions, this word again works its way into my mouth. Being a Christian mom with two young boys, however, these instances have decreased dramatically.

Imagine the surprise then, when Gene was driving down the road Monday night, and heard the f bomb from our 4-year-old son. Gene's cell phone was ringing, so he answered about the time Jacob says, "no way, mother f***er" to no one in particular. ( likely playing with toys).

Though we later learned that the phrase had in fact been introduced that very same day in preschool, neither Gene nor I are impressed with the new acquisition of vocabulary.

Oh, the joys of parenting!

Shopping with daddy

There's a birthday party to attend, and a gift is needed.

Typically a mom's chore, but daddy fills in tonight. The toy section is tempting for any 4-year-old boy and his 2-year-old brother. Though generous to a fault, it's hard to understand why the birthday child and the giver cannot both receive gifts.

A toy is selected. The older brother and the soon-to-be-giver of the toy claims the holding privilege. The youngest waits for his chance and violá, the toy is his.

A lot of parents would not blame this daddy. They have been there in the store with a screaming child. But, two of them is hardly a fair fight.

One toy become three toys, and all are pleased.

Perhaps the brothers continued to torment their father until he, too, had to have a toy for his desk at work. Those naughty boys!

A new dance

I love the women in my Bible study. These women are hard-core friends, and I learn so much every time I spend two hours with them.

If you have never seriously pondered what it means to totally surrender to God, it's not an easy task. And, you will never get it perfectly right. And, it's a daily endeavor.

Guarding your mind from ungodly things, keeping away from the tempting things in life while choosing instead to focus on things above is challenging.

But, if you are willing, God will ever do the surrendering part for you. You just have to say, "Yes, Lord. Yes, Lord."

I make that my plea today.

4:36 p.m.

Technically, I've put in my time today. Not sure why my backpack is going home filled to the brim, however.

Started out with a department meeting at 8:30 a.m. and worked through lunch (not without eating in my office, of course). Accomplished a lot of things, but not really things that I get a solid outcome for. I hate those pesky little tasks. Too small almost to make it to the list.

Perhaps I should just add "pesky little things" to my daily to-do list because all of these things eat away at my time.

Oh, well.

Adorable

And she's not even my daughter.

Tonight at the church softball game the dirt was blowing wildly across the field constantly, but Jacob also got a scoop sort of thrown at him by a 2-year-old girl. She didn't do it on purpose; she was just in her own little world.

Anyway, this adorable second grader bends down to the 2-year-old girl and says in the sweetest voice ever. "Do you want to say you are sorry? He will forgive you and this will be all over. He won't tell on you and you won't get in trouble."

God puts people in our lives to come alongside us when we struggle. Tonight two of my own lifesavers come to mind. May God bless Anna and Marian.

Hola Faithful Reader(s)

Hi Mom. Ha. Ha.

You might notice if you scroll down a bit, I am in the process of adding 18 new links to my blog.

Fresh faces. I encourage you all to check out their blogs every now and again. Who doesn't love a comment every now and again? (Mom, remember to sign in and then post.)

I don't make my students read my own blog, but I do have all the links to the blogs they need to read on here. In case they do read though, I need to edit these more carefully.

Another semester has started.

A conversation

Jacob: "Mommy, God didn't make any bad choices did he?"

Me: "No, Jacob, he didn't."

Jacob: "He did good things all day every day. I am going to do good things all day tomorrow," he pauses, "or most of the day."

Editor's Note: Yes, I realize my 4-year-old son is terribly smart. And I am a brilliant writer … just ask my momma.

Disobedience

It has been somewhat of a rough day today. Every six weeks, Gene's turn comes up to serve in the 2 and 3 year old room at church. As children only promote up once per year, Jacob still attends this class for a few more Sundays.

Jacob was so confrontational with his daddy this morning, that Jacob was moved to another classroom! Yeah, that's what I said. Dad and son had to be separated.

I had to break my son's heart today and forbid him to attend a birthday party he had been quite looking forward to. But, he knew the rules going in and he chose to disobey again and again, leaving me no choice.

I fear I am heading for a major crossroads in terms of money. God has gone over the rules with me again and again, and I stubbornly insist on doing things my own way. Sure, I can be good for a few months in a row, but change is not reaching the heart level because only God can do that.

A broken heart might be the only way out.

Bunk Beds

There is no more crib in my babies room. Almost five years ago, Gene put together that little bed with lots of love and cussing.

"Did it make you want to cry to take the bed apart," I ask Gene.

"No, I wanted to cry putting it together. It was much easier to take apart."

Now my little boy of four years sleeps on the top bunk and my little boy of two years sleeps on the bottom bunk.

Before they sleep, however, they giggle, they get out of bed again and again, they dance, they turn up the CD player too loud, they fight and they drive mommy NUTS.

Finally, perhaps realizing it's not a good idea to push mommy one inch further, they nestle in to sleep. And the little boy of four years who earned two naughty notes today and the little boy of two years who screamed most of the morning, suddenly become the purest little angels ever … until the morning.

Jacob

Two naughty notes in one day! Now that's a Jacob Cassell record.

"Hey Gene and Regina

Just a note to let you know that Jacob is sitting in my office right now because as I was talking to one of the other children, he came up and slapped me on the behind. He thought it was funny, but I did not and then since he was mad at me he just started saying the word 'but' over and over again.

This is my note to you that I promised Jacob I was writing because of his choices"

Then Mrs. Betsey had to add this in writing.

"You guys. I love this kid. Now he's sitting here trying to bribe me with the promise of pictures that he will draw for me. He has apologized to me without prompting. He has suggested that since he has said sorry maybe I could just put this note 'in someone else's cubby.' His little mind is always working."

His second note described his recent run-in with disrespectful behavior. Tonight, we talked about these choices. I told him to stop something, and he told me he "could do it if he wants to."

I made my little boy lock eyes with me and repeat the following: "I am 4 years old and I have to do whatever mommy tells me to do. I have to do whatever daddy tells me to do. I have to do whatever my teacher tells me to do. I do not get to do what I want."


aaauuuggghhh

The game of change

So today in church, Pastor Casey just came out and said it's time to read our Bibles every day. (Hebrews 4:12)

And, not only that, but he suggested that we are to "reflect on it deeply" (Psalm 119:15) and "respond to it obediently." (James 1:25)

The three Rs of a spiritual breakthrough. Read your Bible, reflect and respond.

At some point during the sermon though, he made another point that really resonated well with me. He was talking about change. He suggests that we are all quite capable of controlling our impulses to do certain things. We might be able to quit cussing, stop hitting or even eating on our own accord, but only GOD can CHANGE our hearts about anything.

Talk about battling uphill in the wind. Using our own energy to mask a behavior that is still taking over our hearts does not seem to be a very productive process.

Wednesday is trash day

Gene and I are facing somewhat of a tight financial month. Problem is, it's only day 1 of said month.

Anyhow, I mentioned to him that I hoped the trash bill wasn't due this month as it's paid every three months. He laughed and said we should get a discount because we seem to remember to take it to the curb every other week.

Perhaps the fact that a simple task is often overlooked puts perspective on the nuttiness we call living our lives as the Cassells.

The Cassells need to take five and drop all the things that are not really important.

The trip to Kohl's

Two items in a bag with a receipt. I needed to walk into the store, take a left and then a right to reach the customer service area. No biggie.

I had a list of items for Sam's Club and the grocery store. Oh, and I had my two boys. Naughty and VERY NAUGHTY.

I tried to put Jared in the stroller/cart Kohl's has available. He was not pleased with this and began screaming his "Help! I'm being murdered scream." I shove him in there and start pushing, sort of.

Jacob, despite having a front-row seat to Jared's meltdown, wants to push the stroller. I tell him I just want to get it going so Jared will stop screaming. Grudgingly he moves aside at a snail's pace.

Meantime, Jared gets even more cranked up. I am pushing quickly as I am getting lots of looks. There is no line, so I decide to just deal with it, but I am still holding out hope that the screaming will stop.

I pride myself on how my children generally behave in the store. Every now and again, we have a small problem. We've been in line too long or it's getting late or they are hungry.

It's wrong to negotiate with terrorists, but I decided to try. I take my little terrorist out of the stroller contraption. He bolts away (still screaming, incidentally)

The girl behind the counter has to take a phone call, and I have to take the screamer around the corner so the poor girl can hear!

Jacob is no longer interested in pushing the stroller, and why I think it necessary to lug it back to the front of the store is beyond me. I think it's rude to just abandon your cart in the wrong place, but maybe I had a good reason today. Still, I head for the front carrying the hysterical child and pushing the cart while telling Jacob repeatedly he isn't getting another stuffed animal. And, it's only a quick trip to the front. Surely he will stop screaming, I think.

People are really looking me know. I am losing my cool. I want to beat him. I spank his diapered butt, but he only screams louder.

We get out of the store as quickly as possible, and I again spank the terrorist who is doing his best to kick, bite and pinch me in between screams.

I wish I could have had Harry Potter's magic wand to force my child into his carseat. I think I got a scratch on my face. He was pretty livid by now.

Once the car started, he calmed down rather quickly. I wondered if I should chance Sam's. Some may have considered throwing in the towel at this point, but not me. I drove across the parking lot and geared up for round two --- mom vs. Jared.

I let him walk up to Sam's to butter him up a bit. He wasn't pleased that I held his hand, but he relaxed when Jacob took his other one. Laughing, I scoped him up and deposited him into the cart. He looked at me, and I looked at him. "Go ahead and make my day, child."

He smiled and threw his little head back and laughed. I watched as my little screamer turned into the resident greeter, waving and calling "hi!" to all we encountered.

With a successful trip to the grocery story following, I tally the score. Mom wins, 2-1.

Harry Potter

I've read the final book. That's all I can say except it was a good read. 749 pages, and I accomplished it in less than 24-hours. Yeah, I know. I rock. (ha ha)

I also managed in that same 24-hour period to sleep a little (got the book at Wally world at midnight), attend a P-Chef party, fix family dinner, give fellas a bath and get them ready for bed. Yeah, that's about it.

The book was 749 pages!

Who else has read it? No spoilers though!

My baby

My baby is crying and my 4-year-old is out of bed. OK, so my "baby" is 2 years old and apparently not too keen on going to bed. Neither is Jacob, who has been out at least five million times in this moment alone.

I arrived at preschool to pick up Jacob only to learn that he had appointed himself chief bully today. Hitting, pushing, taking things away from others, refusing to listen, yelling, saying "no" to his teachers. Yep. That's a pretty good summary.

Then I went to pick up Jared, who had just turned himself into a weapon by hurtling himself from the chair to the couch, landing on the poor little girl who likely weighs a mere 40 pounds to Jared's 26.

I blame myself because I let them stay up too late b/c it's summer, and they were having fun.

And, I was naughty also. I stayed up until 2:30 a.m. reading a book. Now I am very tired and my eyes are burning.

Oh, to once again enjoy the truly lazy days of summer. I remember telling my sisters that I did not care if the pool opened at 1 p.m. I was going to watch One Life to Live before we went. As far as they were concerned, the pool was open to them at 2 p.m. daily. And that was if they could pry the book out of my hands to make me take them.

Only a few days remain until the world knows what happens to our little Harry Potter. Yeah, I'm a book nut.

No Place to Hide

The thing about God is that He's an all or nothing sort of deal. The last few sermons, though diverse topics, have all pointed me to the same place. In other words, until I do this one little thing, I am going to hear nothing new under the sun.

Today our pastor talked about witnessing to those around us, a "task" most of us dread. But if we have a solid relationship with God, then we won't be able to help ourselves. Thus, it no longer becomes a task. OK, so that's the Cliff notes version, but if you can follow me normally, you will be OK.

Anyway, the relationship is what I am struggling with as of late, and oh how it affects everything else.

For example, I need to live much more fiscally responsibly. Instead of me and my Bible sitting about to discuss this with God, I think myself in circles of all of the things "I" can do: don't eat out, don't go to Wal-Mart unsupervised, don't buy books, don't shop online, no credit cards, etc. And, how is that working with God, you ask? Well, if you can figure it out, please let me know.

Do you know the KISS rule? Keep it simple, stupid? Can the answer really be that simple?

Regina: Pick up my book. Read it. Talk to me. Is this really so difficult?

If ya know and love the one and only savior, pray for me!

Abundance

So, I'm sitting here in the lobby of our hotel wondering exactly what I'll blog about today.

The mystery was revealed when a woman stopped to ask me if she could give me something.

I'm suspicious, but friendly, so I agree. I am presented with a nickel and a wish for abundance from Victoria. The coin says in God we trust, she says, and I am wished abundance in whatever I believe in.

This is it. I'm left wondering if she's a Christian or another religious follower or just a nice person. Pity that I did not think to ask her.

I thanked her and she introduced herself and walked away.

Hmm.

Here's a prayer for Ms. Victoria. Father, God, you know all about this woman. I pray that if she does not have a friendship and relationship with your son, Jesus, that you will reveal the truth of his sacrifice to her. Help her see that we are all eternal beings. We can chose to spend eternity with you in heaven or apart from you forever. Amen.