And other crazy things I do

So, I started a spreadsheet to keep track of our vast collection of childrens books. As Jacob and I plod through the bookcases in an attempt to read them all before doing too much repeating, I have so far typed up 65 books.

And, I have to tell you that the bookcases are still quite full of books. I love books and cannot seem to deny my children this pleasure. Is there anything better than a good book?

Hmm.

What would God say

I'm on my way to pick up my youngest son when Jacob suddenly announces "I didn't throw rocks at Ms. Beckey's car today."

Of course, I immediately realize that he did. But, playing his game, I say "Oh, who did that?"

A pause and then an enthusiastic, "Nathan!"

"Who else?" I probe.

"Just him. No one else."

"Hmm. I wonder what God saw."

Another pause and then a plead, "Don't ask Him!"

I guess his guilty conscience had gotten the best of him because he did fess up. Even at age 4, Jacob knows that the same God who chases away the monsters he fears at night is with him all day long.

Tuesday night was my weekly Bible study, and the funny thing is that the message was very similar. We're studying the dramatic life of the apostle Paul, who at this point has spent two years in prison because he was not afraid to proclaim the truth of Christ.

Beth Moore, who is an amazing Christian woman who writes these studies for women, went back and studied a U.S. court case that gave a detailed account of how a person must prove they have a religious conviction.

See the U.S. Supreme Court is looking for convictions, not preferences or philosophies. We have to be the same when people are watching us and when they aren't. Over and over again, Paul shared his testimony. He didn't change it or relent from telling it. He was so convicted that he simply did not have any choice.

I hope if I were on trial for my faith, there would be enough evidence to convict me. Our high court says that our conviction must permeate every aspect of our lives, not just our behavior on Sunday mornings.

"For the love of God"

For awhile now, I've maintained a position that certain things are just "in" you. You can do your best to squelch them, but they will still manage to wiggle out every now and again.

I am a Christian. I love God, and I certainly do not mean to disrespect His name, but I fear I do it on a quite casual basis, which I feel is worse yet.

Tonight, after blowing my nose at least 200 times today, I was in a hurry to get the boys eating supper. Jacob had already announced he wanted yogurt and a PB&J sandwich. Fine with me, only he wanted to make it himself. I told him that I was really tired and just wanted to get it done faster.

Brief silence. Then he says to me, "For the love of God! I can make a sandwich." I dropped the knife because I know exactly who taught him to say this. Oh, boy. Further reflection reveals that I say this frequently, along with "Oh, Godd" and "Good Lord!" How do these "godly" interjections make it into my language? Years of use. And, I do mean years.

Funny how hearing the words from a 3-year-old can leave quite the impression.

Old Photos

The previous post alludes to something I am trying to find and failing miserably. It's a photo of my family. The last one taken before I was married. I believe there is only one copy, and I am pretty sure I have it -- somewhere.

I have seen it somewhere in the near future. It's one of my favorite photos of our family, and I know I intended to scan it or have Gene scan it. If only I could find it.

Instead of grading my papers, finishing up the loose ends with bills for the month, I tore through several boxes of photos that are just yearning to be scrapbooked. I love to scrapbook, and I have a lot of cool tools to use when scapbooking. It's the time I lack.

Anyway, I am going through all of these wonderful photos when I wonder if I perhaps stuck the photo inside one of my albums to keep it safe.

I pulled out my wedding album and spent time looking at it. We will have been married 10 years in June. I didn't finish our wedding album until just before our 10th wedding anniversary. Boy that thing took me a lot of work.

I also found pics of my sisters when they were smaller and so very cute. Now, I have photos everywhere and I'm very tired. Hmmm.

At any rate, I hope you all are having better luck finding your stuff than I am.

I should be sleeping

And here are the reasons why:

1) I am tired.

2) I am not doing things I wrote down to do on my list.

3) I am tired

4) I am frustrated because I cannot find something that I have seen recently. Doesn't this make you nuts?

5) I found it rather difficult to drag myself from bed this a.m. and tomorrow only promises to be harder.

6) It's only Monday. Sleep is needed.

I had a plan

But, as usual, my plan and reality did not exactly intersect. I sat down to do my Bible study about 30 minutes ago now, and I have a "small" project to attend to afterward. I reason with myself that I could just "get up early" and do it.

OK, if you have finished laughing, please continue reading.

I'm trying to put my finger on why I love blogging. I think I might miss the art of reporting. Having no one to interview, I question myself and pose the answers to the world of Web.

There are certainly some things I choose not to blog out because I am never quite sure who reads my entries on a regular basis.

This week, my struggle yet again is self-discipline. Beth Moore's study directed us to scriptures a week or so ago that said self-discipline comes as the result of a filling of the Holy Spirit within me. In order to pump up the spirit, things like reading God's word, praying, surrendering to him and letting go are big keys.

I'm not the only one in my Bible study who struggles with the concept of letting go. One of the members had a very nice illustration of it, but I really need the step-by-step manual. Only I think it's a little different for each person.

So, I pose the question to you. What does it truly mean to let go and give it to God? What does true surrender look like? And most importantly, how do you do it day after day after day? Or how do you know when you've done it?