The trip to Kohl's

Two items in a bag with a receipt. I needed to walk into the store, take a left and then a right to reach the customer service area. No biggie.

I had a list of items for Sam's Club and the grocery store. Oh, and I had my two boys. Naughty and VERY NAUGHTY.

I tried to put Jared in the stroller/cart Kohl's has available. He was not pleased with this and began screaming his "Help! I'm being murdered scream." I shove him in there and start pushing, sort of.

Jacob, despite having a front-row seat to Jared's meltdown, wants to push the stroller. I tell him I just want to get it going so Jared will stop screaming. Grudgingly he moves aside at a snail's pace.

Meantime, Jared gets even more cranked up. I am pushing quickly as I am getting lots of looks. There is no line, so I decide to just deal with it, but I am still holding out hope that the screaming will stop.

I pride myself on how my children generally behave in the store. Every now and again, we have a small problem. We've been in line too long or it's getting late or they are hungry.

It's wrong to negotiate with terrorists, but I decided to try. I take my little terrorist out of the stroller contraption. He bolts away (still screaming, incidentally)

The girl behind the counter has to take a phone call, and I have to take the screamer around the corner so the poor girl can hear!

Jacob is no longer interested in pushing the stroller, and why I think it necessary to lug it back to the front of the store is beyond me. I think it's rude to just abandon your cart in the wrong place, but maybe I had a good reason today. Still, I head for the front carrying the hysterical child and pushing the cart while telling Jacob repeatedly he isn't getting another stuffed animal. And, it's only a quick trip to the front. Surely he will stop screaming, I think.

People are really looking me know. I am losing my cool. I want to beat him. I spank his diapered butt, but he only screams louder.

We get out of the store as quickly as possible, and I again spank the terrorist who is doing his best to kick, bite and pinch me in between screams.

I wish I could have had Harry Potter's magic wand to force my child into his carseat. I think I got a scratch on my face. He was pretty livid by now.

Once the car started, he calmed down rather quickly. I wondered if I should chance Sam's. Some may have considered throwing in the towel at this point, but not me. I drove across the parking lot and geared up for round two --- mom vs. Jared.

I let him walk up to Sam's to butter him up a bit. He wasn't pleased that I held his hand, but he relaxed when Jacob took his other one. Laughing, I scoped him up and deposited him into the cart. He looked at me, and I looked at him. "Go ahead and make my day, child."

He smiled and threw his little head back and laughed. I watched as my little screamer turned into the resident greeter, waving and calling "hi!" to all we encountered.

With a successful trip to the grocery story following, I tally the score. Mom wins, 2-1.