reflection

I went to a funeral this weekend. It was for a man from our church. He was 55 years old, and I was glad to know him. His life though, was littered with poor choices involving drinking, lying and cheating.

After a few of our church members spoke, his daughter summoned up the courage to approach the pulpit herself. It was clear she had something to say, and she started speaking very quietly.

This man, who had been such a blessing to those of us who knew him in the last few years, had not been an ideal father. The pain and rage in this young woman's voice broke my own heart.

She wasn't quite convinced that her father's faith journey was legitimate because he never had the time to truly reconcile with his family. I can't imagine how difficult that would have been to face the people you loved the most in the world honestly, knowing all that you had put them through.

Many who knew him lately believed he was on the right journey to get there, but as his daughter cried out at one point, now she will never know.

She's not sure who to be angry at or what to believe. She wonders why God was able to transform her father when years of her own begging and pleading had fallen on deaf ears.

Oh, I know this woman's pain is long from gone, and I grieve for her. There was a time in my own life when I did not have a good relationship with my own father. I thought he was a mean, hateful jerk who did not care anything about me.

After I gave all of my hurt and frustration to the Lord, the Lord gave my dad and I a new chance. I started praying for my parents as a teen. It was an amazing and joyful moment when there were baptized this past December. And, for many years now I have had the relationship with my father that I had always wanted. I never wanted a perfect father; I already have one of those. But, I did want a relationship with the man who is my dad, just as he is. You have to take all of the good with the bit of bad that is in each and every one of us.

I really don't think it's possible to love people just as they are without a relationship with God. We can try all we like, but family members and even our closest friends are sometimes going to hurt us, disappoint us or even abandon us. We must find the courage to forgive and truly love each other as Christ loves and forgives us. Without Him, I don't see how it's even possible.

If you are believer, pray for Katie. She needs to find Christ.