Success

I'm not sure how I managed to delete the text of my first post on this title, so here I go again.

Now though, I'm feeling lazy and will offer only the highlights:

1. Jared's ear tube procedure was an amazing success.

2. I will return to work Thursday (yeah)

3. I owe a big thank you to my mom-in-law for coming to stay with Jacob.

4. I also owe a big thank you to my dear friend Anna, who came to wait with us at Single Day Surgery, even after first going to the hospital. Apparently, I had failed to mention the location of said surgery. (sorry, Anna)

5. I am very behind on my novel as I have felt pretty crappy most of the day.

6. At 8 a.m. tomorrow, I will find the cost to do a complete remodel on my bathroom, which I hate with a passion. Pray that the cost is in the Cassell budget.

Technology

So, last night I spent a little bit of time putting some songs on my ipod. I'm behind in my novel-writing attempt. In my effort to blur the lines of my family life into ficiton, I find myself questioning the way I've portrayed my family, who have received new names, of course.

I am terrified at the thought of anyone actually reading the words as they are at this moment. Hmm.

Anyway, so I have strep throat, it's past the point when I should be in bed, and I say to my husband, "Hey, honey. Can you dump my ipod off the desktop and save a copy of my novel to my jump drive?"

Then it just hit me that a few years ago, that question would have seemd ridiculous. Ipod? Jump drive? Give me a break.

Ranting, pure form

So, I worked my butt off Thursday night so I could sleep in a non-destructo home (when you are ranting, grammar and real words are optional)

Tonight, instead of redoing all that I did on Thursday, I watched TV. Yes, I watched TV. Now, my deck is clean and my yard looks fairly nice, but my kitchen is beyond wrecked.

And, I have two clothes baskets full of clothes that need to be put away. I hate washing three loads of laundry and already having two the very next day. aaauugggh.

There are toys everywhere and most of my plasticware is also spread throughout the house as that's my sons favorite play thing. He especially likes to wear the strainer on his head.

I did spend good quality time with my kids all weekend, but I truly feel as though I accomplished litle else. What is the secret for doing the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over without LOSING YOUR MIND?!

Well, I must think about going to bed as it is now 11:25 p.m. and it's another big week in the big old world -- whoo-pee!

Saturday

My blog is becoming a diary of sorts, only for the masses (wishful thinking) to read.

Today was Saturday. The ending to my oldest going to bed at 5:30 p.m. was his arrival in our bed at 5:30 a.m. Wait, it gets better. He was also sort of throwing up, not really because he had not eaten for quite awhile. Poor guy. He threw up off an on until about 8:30 or so when Gene finally decided to get up. I think Jared and I slept (sort of) until 9:30-10ish.

Made a trip to Sam's Club, very exciting. Jacob wanted to eat at the "chicken" place where you get "chicken, Cheetos and a drink." Turns out, he wanted KFC.

Gene had to work at 2 p.m. and has yet to return from his two-sport day. Yet another sport day will follow tomorrow. I'm sure you can sense my joy about this fact.

Jacob and I had a busy afternoon while Jared napped it away. We raked leaves, cleaned gutters and "found" the deck. It looks so pretty now. I'm not sure how I'll feel to wake up in a few hours and likely discover it covered in leaves again. I hope raking counts as exercise b/c I drank soda and ate chips today.

Then I took Jared for an after-dinner haircut, and to top off our BIG Saturday night, we went to Wal-Mart. Yeah, me.

I did not write in on my novel today because I am feeling a bit out-of-sorts and almost rebellious. Maybe I should just go to bed.

Oh, yeah. I almost forget. I bought a new razor at Wal-Mart. Big splurge. I had to buy a new one because my old one was so old that they are no longer selling blades for it. I told Jacob and Jared they were lucky not to have to shave their legs. They just looked at me like I was nuts.

Little Spooks

Jacob, our little pirate

Jared, a cross between, a bat, a cat and a burgular

Weighing In

So, a friend of mine is wondering if it would be appropriate to confront overweight people about their weight the way smokers are often confronted about their nasty habit.

Claiming its basically the same thing, he wants to be able to tell the scale-tippers to stop frequenting buffet lines, all fast food establishments and to exercise good judment when ordering in restaurants.

In the end, I think we agreed that we are all slaves to our addictions, whether it be eating, smoking, consuming alcohol or massive amounts of caffeine. We all have to deal with these "afflictions" on a daily basis, so perhaps it's best to encourage each other in love.

I personally wish someone would hold me accountable for my food and exercise choices. When it comes to self-control and discipline in those areas, I sort of SUCK.

He sleeps

My oldest son was not a very nice boy at preschool today. He was
hitting and kicking his friends at preschool which is not a "safe"
choice.

And, apparently, he is a monster at nap time. They only need him to be quiet for 20 minutes so that the other children can go to sleep. Umm, this is not happening.

And, I believe it's important as parents to stay consistent with punishment and I was pretty much determined to take away privileges at home.

Turns
out, he decided to take them away himself. He feel asleep in the car.
I'll have to let you know how the story ends. Generally, I am a bit
concerned with my 3-year-old goes to sleep at 5:30. I kept thinking he
would wake up, but this has not been the case.

5,034

Right on schedule. Of course, it's only day 3. I'm wondering if my story is going to run out before I get to the correct word count. I have a pretty good start now, but I sometimes have to go back and recall what I've named certain characters. Oops.

Maybe I need to make some cliff notes or something.

Unless you've been reading my blog, you likely have no idea what I'm talking about. If you would like, click on the NaNoWriMo label for full disclosure.

2,592 words

I didn't quite make the 1,667 words today, but that's OK. I'm at an average of 1,200. Before I sat down to write, I cleaned the kitchen, ran the vacuum, folded clothes and put away laundry, found my bed and picked up after small group tonight.

Oh, and I also had to pay bills. I feel pretty good about my productivity. I hope to spend a couple of hours writing this weekend to perhaps store up some words, so to speak.

Now, I'm off to bed. Hooray.

1,673 words

I have written 1,673 words of my November novel. It's called Boxed In. For those of you who know me, you will no doubt get the little joke in the title.

My sisters would likely follow it with uh-uh.

At any rate, it's harder to write this novel than perhaps I anticipated. I have the idea, but I've always written in newspaper and/or essay style. Dialogue is new for me, but essential for my story.

It's going to be interesting. November = 50,000 words. Maybe I'll finish early over Thanksgiving break.

It's gonna be a draft. A very rough draft, but it's something.

The addiction deepens

So, I've discovered that I should add some pics to my site, which I did. Reminds me that I need to get a new batch on my computer in the office and print some out so I can finish my grandma's birthday present (sigh)

At any rate, I've also discovered with the new beta version, I can add labels. This post boasts the label blogging, which if you click on, will bring up all my previous posts on blogging, cool, eh?

And, my friend Randy has convinced me through his own enthusiasm to attempt to write 50,000 words of a novel -- during the month of November.

I talked to my mom about it last night. She and my family members will serve as characters so to speak. People will likely think I've embellished these stories I plan to weave together in some yet-to-be-determined fashion.

For those who know me well, you will get a kick out of my working title, "Boxed In." Makes me laugh as I type this. Perhaps I'll even put that in the foreword. Is that how you spell that, incidentially?

Anyone interested in joining us on the journey should check out http://www.nanowrimo.org/index.php.
There's a site all about National Novel Writers Month, referred to as NaNoWriMo. Very alien-speak like.

Maybe I'll upload some of my excerpts to my blog, using the label "novel."

My boys

Photo Gallery

Jacob, Christmas 2005


Jared, Christmas 2006

Ear tubes and faith

"Jared, look over here. Look at Pooh! Good!" The woman waves wildly to
capture the baby's attention through the window and repeats the test on
the other side.

Jared's mother sits holding him in her lap amazed that there a way to test the
hearing of a 1-year-old boy who doesn't talk much. Jared laughs
energetically as he sees the clown light on on the right side of the
sound booth.

"Well, he has a 30 percent hearing loss," the woman says after completing the test.

Really, his mom had known on the drive over to the office that ear tubes were
pretty much a given. Her mind racing, she forced herself to think of
her good friend, Anna.

Anna knew before she did that Jared was a likely candidate for tubes, and now she was grateful to have been somewhat prepared. Anna's reassurance echoed in her mind as she asked what the next step was.

Oblivious, Jared walked around happily looking for stuff he could get his chubby little hands into. His blue eyes danced with mischief as he darted out of the room.

Wishing yet again that she had demanded her husband accompany her, she dashed
after Jared, who was already peaking into one of the exam rooms.
Sensing her proximity, he squealed and took off running again.

Her own mom had cried when she told her about the tubes, but she had not.
Focusing inward, she realized that God would take care of her baby. A
resident worrier, she often worries about things she could attempt to
control, like how to disciple her two boys or how to encourage Jared to
stop hitting his older brother, Jacob.

Medical things were simply out-of-her hands. She often found herself spacing out the specifics of medical things. She trusted that God would provide capable doctors
for her family, and he always had. It seemed easy to have faith in God
when it came to her family members, so she again wondered why she
insisted on fighting Him at every turn when he was dealing directly
with her.

It's 1 a.m.

OK, I'm officially addicted to blogging. I started out by grading all of my feature writing blogs. Kudos to Trista, Kammie and Crystal, the only three who are completely caught up.

After I made a fun chart to track who had read whose blog and read the new posts, I decided to add a few posts to my own. But, it's 1 a.m. Geez! I have two boys who will be up at the crack of dawn. What a bad decision.

Oh, well. I don't regret it one bit. I love blogging!

And, I think I've blogged the required amount of posts myself, so I know it can be accomplished :)

Sisters

I'm the oldest of four girls, now women. As the oldest, I have managed to mother and smother all of my sisters at one point or another. I've loaned quite a few dollars that never seemed to make their way back to me.

My sisters and I are as different as night and day, which is probably one reason I tend to feel like the resident outsider. I've been referred to as the resident "dream crusher" when I've tried to help one of them reach a goal by taking a more efficient path. (Don't confuse this with trying to run their lives - ha. ha.)

I'm used to being on the outside in my family. The real break happened when I was in college. I did put some distance between my family and myself. I was selfish and only wanted to focus on me. Then I became a more relevant Christian, and I felt the divide grow even wider.

I have always hated being the one on the outside in my family. My mom reads this blog, and she might even be mad at me at the end. But, she was a mom who worked really hard while I was growing up. I was a good helper for her in many ways, and to some, especially my sisters, it would seem that I might be the favorite. And, now I'm the mother of her only two grandsons, whom she completely adores. She will gain a granddaughter sometime next year when my sister gets married, but I've generally had a good relationship with my mom.

I was not a great big sister, however. I was mean to my sisters on a regular, if not daily, basis. They were a burden to me. I had to watch them a lot, and instead of using that time for fun and bonding, I was cold and distant.

As a Christian, I believe we are forgiven, but we must always deal with the consequences of our actions. My consequence is two sisters who seem so far away, physically and figuratively, seem to have little interest in having a real relationship with me.

Sure, we play nice, talk on the phone every now and again and e-mail, but I want more. They both live in Michigan, and I am such a homebody in general. I want to understand them more, but I always tend to view things wrong when it comes to family.

I'm rather passionate about my faith, and this has caused me numerous set-backs in our relationships. Mostly it's my own fault because I seem to lack any sense of tact when it comes to my family.

I'm not sure I really even know anything about middle child number three. She makes it clear that family are really not welcome in her life details.

I was 13 when my youngest sister was born, and I do feel there is more hope overall in this relationshp because it's really just forming as she heads into adulthood. She'll be 21 in July.

I really want the four of us to take a fun, "girls only" trip to Vegas to celebrate the baby's birthday. Maybe this is just the chance to make true amends and develop a friendship for life.

Don't get me wrong. I love my sisters very much, but I want to know they really love me back. Is that so wrong?

Praise

I teach writing, but I'm still a reporter. Might be an actual reporter if the hours were better.

Anyway, I got an e-mail from an editor at the local paper saying that she liked my story and my lede. I obsessed a great deal over both, by the way. And, I am very proud to receive this compliment for my work. I'm still worried that others might not like it, but that's more or less my personality.

I was always very envious of my oldest, younger sister because so many things seemed to come natually to her.

I played the flute in band, and at one time sat first chair. But, I practiced my butt off for that and stopped when the boys got more interesting. She picks up any instrument and without a care is creating music.

I love to write. I've always loved to write. And, as I teach my students year after year, I always wonder if I've got what it takes to make it at what I'm teaching. Again, writing is something that comes quite easily to my sister. She's a great poet, and her writing comes from her soul.

I have had the amazing opportunity to interview some truly amazing people in my day. I even got to hug Maya Angelou when I was the editor of my college newspaper. Yeah! I hugged the woman.

I'm passionate about a lot of people and things, so when I write a story, especially one I've pitched, I'm tied to it. It's fate rests in my hands for the most part. Sure, an editor is going to come along and add the polish, but an editor can only take a story so far.

Weakest link

My latest theory is a spinoff of an old one. A family is only as strong as its weakest link.

This week has been a nightmare of sorts. My poor husband has spent the last several days coughing and hacking with enough passion to shake the very foundation of our little house. Cough medicine, which is to be taken only every four hours, takes a good 30 minutes to kick in and wears off 30 minutes before the next dose is due.

Brings me back to the days of nursing my oldest son. There was a "sleep window" in-between feedings, of course, but you had to be quick about getting right to sleeping. And, at the moment true contement would invade the would-be sleeper, the baby was hungry again.

My sweetie has voluteered to take the sofa, but a sick man deserves his own bed. I could take the sofa myself, but I fear that would only make him feel worse that he already does.

So, I am currently running on very little sleep, and I've been lugging my backpack around all week. It's full of stuff I need to grade desperately, but I have lacked time, energy and ability to focus.

Today I woke up to the sound of my yougest son doing his best to imitate his poor daddy. Oh, no. Here we go again.

Grading

I teach writing. Actually, I coach young writers. Well, maybe I just make them write their butts off.

Anyway you break it down, my classes require a lot of grading. I like grading when these things happen.

1) My students have followed directions.

2) Their work indicates that they care a trifle about the assignment

3) It's quality writing.

4) It does not take me more time to grade than the time the student put into the assignment.

I do not love grading when these things happen.

1) It's late.

2) It's sloppy.

3) It's full of stupid errors.

4) There's too much of it (I am a hard-core believer in practice makes better!)

5) I've basically read the same paper for the last two hours. (Be creative and original, please!)

Discipline, take one

Brick walls speak to me. Most likely because I've walked into them time and time again. I'm not sure why I have to learn everything the hard way, but I'm stumped to recall an easy life lesson.

I hate being disciplined for any reason, and I hate the fact that I lack a lot of discipline in many key areas of my life. This summer, God really decided to confront this quality in me. I have had a crazy year, staring with work in January, and I was looking forward to summer.

The previous summer is a blur as baby Jared came home with us in May of 2005. With his infancy mostly behind us, I was looking forward to having a little more control over my life. Yeah, I'm a control freak, too. Discipline and control are too closely related for my comfort. I think it takes a lot of discipline in my life for me to give up the control I seem to desire at every turn.

The need for control fights with my heart's desire to wak more closely with God.

I need God in my life. I have learned this lesson one brick wall at a time. When I get stressed, however, I tend to flee (lack of discipline). When problems come my way, I search MY brain for ways to fix them (need to control).

So, what happens when a family member becomes diagnosed with cancer or another one risks losing custody of her son? Well, all bets are off. (In addition to that sentence containing a question, which I rail against in my writing classes, it also contains a cliché. Oh, well. I love being able to make and break the rules).

God gave me a purpose in life, and it takes a lot of discipline to discover what it is. Daily Bible readings have helped me focus my attention to God's word; a weekly Bible study in our home takes me through the 40 Days of Purpose campaign; and God is not just using these tools to convict me. I hear calls to get more sleep, eat better, exercise more, spend quality time with my kids and husband and then there's always saving the world. Even maintaining frienships takes discipline. It's all around us, and I am beginning to fear there is no escape.

Only there is: Get with the program, Regina. (I'd say stop whining, but I find whining to be one of my favorite pasttimes. It's not that I think I'm not blessed because I am incredibly so, but I still like to whine.